1 night 8 years
by tiffo the chicken flea
Summary: Questions for u da reader!1 Compleated. 8 years after end. Spikes alive, things are normalish. that is untill he finds out that Jets been keeping in touch with Faye and decides to pay her a visit. SF. There is more but I don't know i'm just the author.
1. Phone Manners

Hulllo, I only made some adjustments to this chapter mostly spelling or word usage wise. IT was mainly just to get both of my stories updated since I actually did add a new chapter (gasp, I know) to the sequel to this story. Family ties. So all of you have read before I hope you will like my addition and those of you who haven't I hope you like it at all.

Shity piece of AAAGGGHHHH Anywho being as this is my first fic I am having lots of Problems w/ it. SO this should be the version I had originally wanted to post up.

Spike walked out into the bright sunlight. His mind wandering as it had become used to doing. He always thought about the time, the years that had gone by; eight years… it had been eight years since he had… gone. Why had he left? To die? To find out if he was really alive? It didn't matter now . He'd been in a Coma for three years and spent the last five trying to pretend that everything was back to normal. Ha Normal that wasn't exactly something he ever knew.

Things had almost been back to normal; it was like the beginning all over again. Just him and Jet no mutts, no Kids and No women. Especially ones with bitchy attitudes that were inconsiderate and dressed like whores. Speaking of Faye that was why he was here on Earth. His first time back on the planet in eight years. They had stopped by but he had never gone down to the surface; Jet always got whatever they needed.

He squinted against the rays of sun that were bombarding his eyes trying to see where the Café was that he was supposed to meet Faye at. He still wasn't sure why he was here, or why he had even offered to come down. The thing that surprised him the most was that Faye had said ok. Ok, well she hadn't really said anything he had hung up to fast for her to argue. But why he had wanted to see her again chewed at the back of his mind. Maybe he missed her. No, that couldn't be it. I was her voice there was something about her voice that had made him want to come down. He remembered 4 days earlier when she had been shoved back into his life.

Spike had walked in on Jet on a portable phone. It had briefly caught his attention because he didn't even know Jet owned one and that people still used those old things when they could just use the monitor. He knew that he must have been talking to someone on earth cause the range couldn't be far enough for any ware else. Deciding it wasn't interesting Spike moved past him and got some food from the fridge eating it at the small table in the center of the room. Only semi eavesdropping; it sounded like Jet was talking to a kid.

"Yeah, I bet that was fun. Did you beat em?"

"--"

"Yeah."

"--"

"Uh huh." Jet laughed, a full-hearted good-natured laugh. Spike was surprised; Jet didn't laugh like that.

"Yeah so how's Ein doing?"

_Ein_, he must be talking to Ed but she had to be twenty- one by now surely she still didn't act like a kid.

"--"

"That's great."

"--"

"Oh ok You put her on then. And remember to behave yourself. And give Ein a hug for me."

"—"

"Yes, give her 2 for me."

_Jet's so fatherly_, Spike thought as he slurped on his noodles. There was a Pause as the phone switched hands on the other side.

"Hi Faye." Jet replied.

Spike choked on his noodles. _Faye_, he hadn't talked to her since, not to say that he hadn't thought of her. She occasionally, a lot, passed through is mind, a lot.

Jet was still talking. " Yeah so I heard. So what's that now green belt?"

"--"

"Yeah, Just like..." Jet stopped. Spike looked up from his noodles to see Jet staring right back at him; Jet's eyes changed and he looked through Spike.

"I'm sorry Faye I didn't mean to."

There was another pause then Jet tried to change the subject.

"Spike's here you know."

Spike looked up quickly; why did he have to be the subject of change.

"No, I mean here in the room."

"--"

"Well you should. How bout you talk to him?"

Spike almost choked again. He didn't want to talk to her, or did he? They hadn't spoken in long time and the last time they did it hadn't been on the best of terms. Who was he kidding they never spoke on good terms.

"Well you should," repeated Jet. "Faye, I'm being serious I think you need…" Jet grimaced as Faye yelled at him through the phone. Jet was getting rather red in the face.

"For God's sake Faye he's…" Jet stopped himself and looked at Spike, _probably hoping she wouldn't start yelling _again, Spike thought.

But there was no such luck, the phone erupted with even louder screams. Spike could even hear a jumbled voice from the phone. _Man, she must really not want to talk to me, _He wondered why she could be so overly pissed_. It couldn't be, nah, that was eight years ago she couldn't still be dwelling on that. Agh, Women._

Jet was yelling back now, "No Faye, He's not you need to learn to grow up and at least talk to him. You're acting like a child." She tried to interrupt. "No Faye, I'm sick of this, I said you're going to and you're going to."

Spike felt the phone roughly shoved against his ear. He grabbed the phone and watched as Jet stood in front of the door. As if he were blocking Spike's only way out.

"Uh, Hello?" Spike said trying not to sound unsure.

There was no answer.

"Um. Faye; you there?"

"What?!" She said in exasperation, but there was something else there as well. A kind of pain and sadness hovering in the back of her voice. The sound of it intrigued him for reasons he couldn't figure out. He wanted to hear her speak some more.

"So How a… how are you?"

Faye scoffed and then sighed. "I'm fine…Spike." It sounded she had forced the last word out.

"We uh, we should talk sometime. Eight years is a long time I'm sure stuff has changed." Why the hell was he being so formal?

Faye was silent for a while.

"A…A lot of things have changed." Faye whispered so that he could barely hear her. Her voice seemed different as if she was somewhere else and not necessarily talking to him.

"Fine then it's settled I'll come down on Friday."

"WHAT!?" Faye, Jet, and his own mind all said in unison. It was like some kind of weird echo.

For some reason his mouth kept moving." Where do you live? I'll stop by around noon."

"I…I live. No, you can't come here."

"Why not?"

"It… It's messy."

"So I don't care."

"A Café. Yes. There is a Café a few miles from my house. We could meet there; it's the Château Café."

"Ok, Friday, Noon, Château Café. Bye, Faye." Spike hung up the phone before Faye had a chance to respond.

"WHAT?! What the hell are you doing?!" Jet asked coming towards the table.

"What?" Spike asked tossing Jet the phone and turning back to his noodles.

"You are going down there?"

"Yeah." He said with a large slurp.

"Why?"

"I don't know," and that was the total truth he had no Idea why he had wanted to go see her. She was, well she was Faye, so he really should have no reason to want to see her. But he did, and he wished he had a reason. "Maybe it's to get off this ship and get away from you for a while."

"Ha, ha funny Spike." Jet turned away and spoke quietly to himself, "I can't believe she let you come."

"Well I didn't really give her a chance to say yes or no. But what should it matter I mean what she can't hate me that much. I mean why, why would she."

"You were dead Spike."

"What the Hell does that have to so with the price of rice in on Jupiter."

"That's why she hasn't talked to you, you were dead."

"But I wasn't I was right here. I've been here for a hell of a long time."

"Not for her you haven't."

"Well just cause I haven't been on earth, what do you mean _for _you mean _to _right?" Jet didn't answer his question he just made him more confused. "A lot of things have changed. She's changed she's not the old Faye."

"I talked to her too, don't you think I could figure that out. I'm not as dense as you would like to think I am." He thought for a moment. "You want to know, the reason I'm going down there is _because_ there is something different about her I heard it in her voice she's hiding something and I intend to find out what it is."

Spike expected Jet to roll his eyes or something at him for his childlike behavior. But instead Jet looked at him very seriously and stared at him intensely. Jet grabbed his arm that was resting on the table.

"Don't go digging into this, you might find things that you won't like."

"I'm not digging." Spike said stubbornly.

"Fine, then just promise me, that you won't get involved."

"In what?"

"Just Promise!"

"How can I…"

Jet was glaring at him.

"Fine, whatever."

Jet let go of his arm and walked out of the kitchen. _Why did he have to be so overly dramatic? Ok, so something happened to Faye well she was still alive so I couldn't have been that bad. Jet needs to stop being so over protective. Get involved. hmph he didn't want to get damn involved he just wanted to poke around a bit. Gently of course._

Faye heard the phone click off before she had a chance to even register what was happening. _He_, was coming, coming here. After so long the one person she had both dreaded and wanted to see the person who could destroy everything she had worked for was coming. She hated him so much. She slammed her fist against the counter as she felt her eyes sting. Her knees were getting weak and she let herself fall to the floor her back supported by the kitchen cabinets. She felt an old dull ache fill her heart she had waited so long to see him, she wanted to be happy but her fears were too high.

A small brown eye peaked around the edge of the kitchen counter at Faye. Soft footsteps came towards her and she could feel the pain slipping away. A tiny hand touched her shoulder.

"Mommy, are you ok?"

Faye looked up and seeing him crouching in front of her the tears that she had been fighting finally fell. _Why did he have to look so much like_…

"Mommy don't cry."

Faye tried to smile and pulled her green haired son into her chest. No _he can't take this away from me I won't let him. _She would go see him this once but never again, nothing would threaten the happiness of her son._ Nothing._ She held her son tighter and he returned the tight embrace. _Nothing would change_.

WHOOOOOHOOOO IT WORKED only after 6 tries!!!!!!!! Happy Happy Tiffo.

Oh and I hope the corny false-subtleness doesn't bother anyone.

HAPPY!!!!!! -4PPJ11!! (I'm kinda happy)


	2. Right Room Wrong Room alls the same When...

@_@      Eepness when dealing with updates. 

I don't want to take to long with the updates but this is a busy week for the Tiffo. Lots of tests and making my date get a real outfit for prom which is this tomorrow actually later today. Not to mention actually getting all my plans done for prom and getting the purple off my ear from where I re-dyed my hair. Any way I guess my point is that I hope you feel privileged that I am updating instead of studying for Japanese or doing my math homework.

            **Ok so prom is over its just taken me this long to update and I am truly sorry. But the weekend is coming up and so I plan on working on some then.**

P.S. One of the reasons it took me so long to update is, its damn hard writing a believable, ok semi-believable reason for too people that think they hate each other to get together. At least it was for me. 

**Chapter 2: **Right Room Wrong Room; alls the same. When alcohol's to blame.

            Faye sat at her desk lost in the memories. That night eight years before. It was strange she could never remember anything when she was drunk, but she could remember that night so vividly; she could still taste him and the alcohol they had both had. 

*           *           *

She couldn't remember where she had gotten the ridiculous idea to get up and get something to eat. 

She ran her hand along the wall of the ship for balance as she walked.

"I am not drunk, I am not drunk." She mumbled to her self (a tell tale sign that she was in fact very drunk). "I am…" She stumbled over herself as she concentrated too hard on saying the words without slurring. Picking herself up from the floor she heard a familiar voice.

"Damn, you are sooo drunk."

Leaning against the wall she tried to glare at Spike. "So are you."

"Am not."

"Oh yeah then how come you were about to walk into the storage closet?"

Spike blinked. He had thought for sure that this one was his room.

"Damn."

He shut the door and staggered on down the hall past her. "Have a nice time trying to get to the kitchen."

She stuck her tongue out at his back.

Deciding that the light was evil and cruel she flipped the switch back off as soon as she "walked" into the kitchen.

What had she made this big trek here for anyway? As usual there wasn't any food. She sat on the floor for a while contemplating. Well not really, cause she never had rational thoughts when she was drunk. But they came to her now anyway. For reasons she either couldn't or didn't want to explain to herself the first thing she thought of was Spike.

He was such a dumbass. Especially when he was drunk. She was drunk, but at least she didn't walk into wrong rooms. 

_He was only in his boxers_, Faye's mind told her. _And damn did he look good._

"What the…" _Why the hell, am I thinking this. It was Spike for crying out loud; gross_. To her he was nothing he was just… _doable_, God Damn she had had too much to drink.

Her mind responded with flashes of a mostly naked Spike walking down the hall, in his room sleeping, leaning over her face._ Whoa, where had that one come from. _

"Stop it." She muttered, hoping to force the image out.

Thinking about Spike always led to unwanted thoughts; though not usually of this kind. Mostly the thing that Spike reminded her of was a past. She had always wondered what it was like to have a past. Spike seemed to hate his, but still to have one no mater how horrible it had been was something she had always thought about. She would sit for hours just wondering and re-watching her video. She would try so hard to remember who she had been. Watching and watching; watching and hoping, but finally she realized that it wouldn't work and that the more she stared at the tape the more it seemed to be mocking her.

"Who am I?" She couldn't pass a day without whispering that simple and yet utterly profound phrase. It hadn't really bothered her that much before, but recently she began to question herself more and more. 

The floor was chilling her; a deep seated cold that settled in her bones. She felt something wet on her cheek. _What the..._ She was crying, she never cried why the, what. She didn't understand. What was this that she was feeling? Was she _afraid?_ What the hell did she have to be afraid of? She wasn't afraid of anything. She started the long trek down the hall.

_Alone. She shivered. She wasn't afraid to be alone. Was she?_

She felt cold, like she was frozen. Frozen again. Trapped and cold. And oh so very alone. She could feel the water running down her face.

_Alone, alone and so cold._ No past, no future.__

"No." She whispered as her hand found the doorknob.

She collapsed into the room. Sliding down the door, she was so cold. What was happening to her? That was it she was never drinking again. _It so strange I've never been a depressed drunk. She rubbed her arms but the cold wouldn't release her. Faye tried to figure out what she was feeling. There was pressure against her skull and a sound in the distance. _

'Who are you?' The far off voice asked her. Why oh why didn't she know. She was losing sight of the darkness; a cold fog covering her eyes.

'What are you doing here?' The tormenting voice continued. _Leave me alone, she thought. She tried to remember what it was like to be warm. But no matter how she fought it there seemed to be nothing that could free her from this cold sleep._

Suddenly, she felt something. A warmth invading her cold, on her shoulder she tried to look, but only found that her head would not turn. The faint sound returned like a rushing wind, and another warmth fell on her cheek.

'Faye, wake up.' The fog in her eyes faded and she found herself looking into two mismatched brown eyes. She felt herself give a sharp intake of breath. 

"Faye are you ok?" Spike's face was mere inches from hers. His one eye stared at her in pure concern the other looked as plainly as any other time.

She felt herself drifting out of the cold towards his radiating warmth. She could feel his hand on her shoulder and see where he had dropped the gun that had been pressed against her head. But mostly, mostly she could feel his other hand holding and even somewhat caressing her cheek.  His warm thumb moved lazily over her cheek. She began to let herself be carried away by this new found warmth. So much so that she didn't notice Spike talking to her.

"What?" She looked at him both questionably and annoyed that he had ruined her moment.

"I said, what are you doing in my room?"

She looked around; she _was_ in his room. She had made the same mistake he had earlier,_ how could I be so stupid._

He continued to stare at her. 

"I…" His hand moved from her cheek and she flinched. She could feel the loneliness coming back. _Why was his touch so soothing?_

"Look if you came in by accident then I forgive you, but if you don't need anything I'd like to be getting back to bed."

_Oh there's something I need_; her mind had immediately switched back to dirty mode; and she could feel her cold being replaced. She traced her eyes along his naked shoulders along his chest to his boxers. She had to clench her fist to keep her hand from reaching out and ripping them down. She had to get out of here and fast. Before her raging hormones completely took over. She just couldn't understand why; why this sudden attraction to the most annoying man in the universe.

"Faye?!" She blinked back to reality and realized she was still staring at his crotch. "Faye if…"

"I'm Fine." She forced out. "I just must not have been paying attention and walked into the wrong room."

He stared at her and she knew he had noticed her stare. "Are you sure?" The back of her mind screamed at the possible hidden meaning in this statement. "You looked pretty shook up when you came in here." Faye sighed as the back of her mind groaned in frustration.

She took a moment to compose herself further. "I'm fine, really. I just had too much to drink and I need to sleep it off." She thought she saw a flicker of something behind Spike's eye but then there was nothing.

They both stood. She could feel the heat waves coming from his body. She started to open the door when for reasons she may never understand she made her fatal slip and reached out her hand running it down his chest.

Spike's hand immediately grabbed her own.  Shock took her; shock at him grabbing her and even more so at her touching him. A long silence passed between them. Spike held her hand in an ever tightening grip and in reflex she gripped the door handle tighter. She began to feel a sense of fear towards the man who was towering over her and easily over powering her. She did not like the way this was turning out, _how could she have ever been so stupid; now Spike would try to kill her_. The squeezing on her hand intensified and Faye let out a small cry.

"Spike stop."

Her back hit into the door knob. He had her pressed into the wall; she hadn't even remembered backing up. She felt vulnerable and exposed; and when she looked into Spike's eyes what she found did not help her situation. She had seen that look too many times but she thought she would never see it in those eyes. Her natural response was one of pure disgust, but given her current position her body decided it best to just be angry (besides not every part of her was fighting this).

"Spike let go of me."

He pushed her arm against the wall next to her head. "You touched me."

She could feel him staring at her, not needing to imagine much in her small tank top and pajama shorts. 

She tried to move her arm that was pinned. "Get the hell off of me Spike."

His eyes returned to her face and his vision cleared. He smirked a little. "If I remember correctly it was you who came in here looking for something." His breath still reeked of alcohol.

"Like hell. There isn't anything you have that I could possibly want."

"You're lying." He leaned over her breathing softly on her neck.

"No." She whispered, as a lovely sensation began to grow inside of her. 

_What?!_ He was only breathing on her, how could it affect her like this. A new type of fear was growing in Faye. It wasn't of Spike but of herself; they had never been this close before and her body was reacting in ways she never would have imagined. Her body should be fighting this not urging it on. Spike was attractive of course she knew that, but that wasn't everything. Just because she dressed like a slut didn't mean she was one.

His mouth was resting right above her neck and she could almost feel his lips brushing against her as he breathed.  Her heart was speeding up, what was happening. Well she knew what was happening, the real question was why?

Why? She put her free hand on his neck to pull him away but that's only as far as she got; physically unable to pull him away from her. Unintentionally her hand began kneed the skin on the back of his neck and he took it as a cue to move further.  Now his lips were on her neck and her ear, she could feel his tongue tracing a line of fire up her neck. Her knees felt week, everything was getting fuzzy.  A small moan passed by her lips and she could feel Spike smile into her neck. He stopped and a small pain grew in her heart. They stared at each other for a moment before Faye rushed forward and pressed their lips together.

As their kissing intensified his hands fell to her body, leaving heat spots wherever he touched her cool skin. 

In the back of her mind she still knew that this was wrong, they were drunk and would regret this later. Hell, they already hated each other so much they didn't need to add a reason.

Spike broke the kiss and pulled of Faye's shirt; as his mouth ran over her exposed breasts all thoughts of wrongness left her mind.

^_^ Hehehe ok so I didn't actually get around to the true lemon. But it's coming, soon obviously. It's just that I've been working on this update for like a week and I feel bad that I haven't put anything up. But I do plan on trying to do the next too chapters this weekend.

^_^ Tiffo

Curiosity Killed the Hobbit.


	3. Kids in the dark make accidents, which l...

Ok now for the next chapter. Oh and first of all, I'm a junior not a senior. (I'm one of those little kids, that didn't have any friends so I started writing.) So this was my first prom. It was fine. I'm glad that people are liking my story. It gives me self-esteem. ^_^

Any way now enough of my boring speaking, and the next chapter.

Oh yeah and If any of you listen to System of a down, there is a song that reminds me of Spike and Landis. It's called forest.

Oh yeah you don't know who Landis is yet oh well. ^_^

Woo hoo lets just jump right into the lemon!!! **Warning!!!! Lemony-Lemon. Its bad, I've read worse(which makes me look bad but anyway) but this one is worse then some others I have read. So please know and understand. I don't feel like getting in trouble.**

I don't own Bebop.

**Chapter 3:** Kids in the dark make accidents, which lead to kids.

            The memory seemed so real so vivid, she could feel it all again. Only this time it wasn't exhilarating, it made her heart hurt.

*           *           *

She jumped up wrapping her legs around his waist; and rubbed against him. She could feel him against her through his boxers and her shorts. This touch caused the fever in her to rise and she rubbed against him harder. His breath quickened and a small moan escaped him. He smashed her harder into the wall, and she gasped; it was like he was trying to enter her despite their clothes. She pushed back straining against the fabric.

"Stop." He said between breaths.

Faye looked at him unsure. 

            Spike took a few steps backwards and fell onto the bed; rolling over to put Faye underneath him. Holding her back with his hands he began to move down from her collar bone with his kisses. Her back arched as his tongue moved across her breast and with the tip he flicked her nipple. He proceeded to put his lips to her breast and suckle her nipple.

*           *           *

            Faye almost laughed. Amused with the fact that his action had mirrored one that he would cause. 

*           *           *

            She ran her hands down his chest and over the protruding cloth of his boxers. Feeling him tingle beneath her she began to rub slowly. His head came up from her breast and before he could do anything she lifted her mouth to his. He bit her lip as the rhythm of her hand sped up. The pain on her lip only threw her into more ecstasy, knowing what she was doing to him made her want him even more. She moved her hand and rubbed her self against his quivering member.* He bit down harder and she heard him moan into her lips. 

He slid his hands from behind her back; down, down over her hips taking her underwear as he continued; and threw them behind him. Now he ran his kisses up her leg; which the further he traveled turned into his tongue till he was almost in her; then was. She clutched the sheets as his tongue explored her depths. Bright splashes of color were forming beneath her eyelids. Her intensifying moans seemed to be encouraging him as he dug deeper. 

"Oh God!" She screamed as his tongue reached her spot. She felt herself convulse as her mind exploded.

He lifted his head and smiled at her his mouth wet and shinny with her fluids. He straddled her and continued to smile at her as she came down from her high. He leaned over to kiss her but she slid down between his legs and pulled off his boxers. Pursing her lips she blew softly on his stiffness and watched as his whole body shook. She knew that he was having trouble holding himself up with just his arms. Pushing up with her shoulder she flipped him over onto the bed. Starting at the back she ran her tongue along the length of him to the tip. And this she played with a moment longer before wrapping her lips around him and continuing.

She could tell it wouldn't be long now and she slid her mouth down one last time and gave a final flick of her tongue before she sat up. She moved over him, not being able to wait any longer. But before she could slide onto him he picked her up and threw her once again changing their positions. He looked down at her for a few agonizing moments. His eyes looked slightly glazed like he still wasn't sure of what was happening. Or at least that he couldn't believe it. 

The ache inside of Faye was growing still, she couldn't wait, why was he stalling? Just to torture her?

He moved over her, but still made no action to enter her. She could tell he wanted it too, _Why__? Why was he waiting. As she slid her hands up to his butt to push him he slammed into her. Her whole body shook with the pleasure and pain of his rough entry. And her scream echoed through the ship. After that first thrust he moved slowly and softly but as her fingers dug into his flesh his speed and strength intensified. It wasn't long until she was pushing back against him their hips moving together, the sounds of their body's hitting together only competing against the sounds of their ragged breaths._

As he exploded inside of her Faye felt a rush of everything bombard her. It was like she had left her body and was floating in a world of ecstasy.

Gasping for air they lay by each other. As their breath slowed so did their minds until absentmindedly Spike grabbed Faye and pulled her too him allowing sleep to take them.

*           *           *

            Wakening the next morning Faye was surprised by the heavy weight of an arm across her and the warmth of a body pressed against her. Then she remembered what had happened and her surprise was replaced with anger and guilt.

            Careful not to wake Spike she slipped out of bed and threw the covers neatly back over his naked form. She may hate him for what he participated in but she didn't want him to get too cold. She put her pajamas back on and walked down to the kitchen to get some coffee.

            "Jesus Faye, can't you ware more clothes when you're walking around. Other people live on this ship."

            _ Nice to see you too Jet_. Thought Faye but instead she said. "No shit Jet?"

            She hoped her _loving comment would tell him that it was too early to bug her right now. But Jet didn't notice or more likely didn't care and continued talking to her. _

            "Did you hear anything last night?" Jet asked her back.

            Faye's back stiffened a little. He couldn't know, could he? "No."

            "Oh Cause I woke up in the middle of the night cause I thought I herd a scream, but I must have imagined it if you didn't hear anything."

            Faye felt herself blush, this was like sneaking around hoping your father didn't catch you. Well at least she assumed that this was what it was like. 

"Must have." She forced out. She stood at the counter stirring her coffee when she heard him.

"Hey Jet, you won't believe the weirdass dream I…"

Faye turned around to see Spike standing in the doorway. Spike's face dropped when he looked in Faye's eyes. She wasn't sure what he saw there, but she knew that he saw the truth about his 'dream'. A sense of sadness that reminded Faye too much of pity covered his eye.

Faye's heart turned black, she didn't want his pity. It was just as much if not more her fault.

"What are you staring at you big lunkhead?!"

The pity left his face replaced with something Faye couldn't place. "Good morning to you too Faye."

Deciding that his indistinguishable mood had ruined her coffee she got up to leave.

"Damn Faye you really need to start wearing more clothes when you are in public before someone takes advantage of your offer."

His words cut into her like tinny daggers. How dare he mock her weakness. And hurt her so much. She wanted to kick him in those same balls that he had violated her with last night. Instead she flipped him off as she walked passed. But before she could get away he grabbed her wrist and whispered into her hear.

"Thanks, but I don't repeat things that aren't that good."

Faye slapped him, hard. "Asshole", she sneered as she ran down the hall. She slammed her door just as the tears sprang from her eyes. She fell to her bed; sobs wracking her body. She stayed there the rest of the day drifting between crying and sleep and continuing to cry in her sleep.

*           *           *

            It was then that she had realized that she hated him with all of her soul.

And loved him.

It was only a short time later that Spike had left to die; she hadn't even known yet.

            "Ms. Valentine there is a call on line one."

            Faye blinked back the memory; a single tear sliding down her cheek.

            "Ms. Valentine?"

            "Yes, I got it thanks."

            Faye took one last deep breath and erased the memory as she answered the phone.

* That was a little "ten things I hate about you" joke.


	4. Meeting your past, hiding the future

Yay another update! I'm still embarrassed that I wrote the last one. Oh well, it is slightly necessary. Sorry if I made Spike to much of an ass but it was fun in a cruel sadistic way. Oh well Now for the forth Chapter. YAY!

**Chapter 4:** Meeting your past, hiding the future.

            The man glanced up as Spike walked past him and into the little café. He went around to the back and waited hoping that his guess was correct. Spike stepped out onto the balcony and the man smiled, pleased with himself. He watched the tall man stop at a table where a purple haired woman was sitting and after a moment take his own seat. Moving a bit to make sure he had a good angle he slinked deeper into the bushes and waited and listened.

            "Faye?" Spike asked looking around at the face of the purple haired woman sitting at the table he had been directed to.

            The woman responded by looking over her sunglasses at him.

            _Well at least her eyes didn't change._ Spike thought, but Jet had been right; everything else was different. Her hair was longer and pulled back into a high ponytail. She was in Jeans and a nice green top, which matched the emerald of her eyes. She wasn't deliberately reveling anything and even in the moderate warmth she was completely covered. _How, how could _this_ be Faye_? Her face looked older like it had been twelve years not eight. No, not actually older, just more mature. _She still had her staggering beauty_. _Whoa_. Had he just thought that?

            The woman continued to stare at him; maybe this wasn't Faye maybe he had made a mistake.

            "Are you gonna sit down or just stand there like a lunkhead all day?"

            He sat. "So Faye how are you?"

            She pushed her glasses back up. No he had been wrong there was something different about her eyes too. _They say that the eyes are the window to the soul, so why did she feel like she needed to keep them hidden?_

            "I already told you that I was fine."

            _Ok, if she wants to hide something right away then she is just asking for the inquisition, isn't she_? "What you been doing these last eight years?"

            "I work at the history museum. I specialize in late 20th early 21st centuries.

            Spike nodded; _what a boring job._

            "I've still been bounty hunting but I guess you knew that. All but the three years I was in the coma."

            "And your six months of rehab," Faye added.

            "Yeah, how… how did you know?"

            Eep. She had slipped up. _Ok calm, truth works. She had been telling partial truths ever since he had shown up._

            "I talk to Jet, he told me." She said with an aura of confidence that she didn't have.

            "Oh yeah, I remember. I knew that. How often do you guys talk?"

            "Every few months."

_How come we have never spoken_, Spike wondered. She must have talked to Jet at least a dozen times since he had been back. They had even stopped by Earth and Jet had gone down and gotten supplies and no one felt like telling him. Why were they being so sneaky? Or maybe he was just making things up in his mind. Nah.

They ordered and their food came. They made small talk; Faye being careful not to talk about her personal life and slip up; Spike trying to figure out why she was acting so vague and trying to hide from him. They spoke for nearly an hour and a half before Faye realized that her lunch break was almost over.

"I'm sorry, but I gotta go. I took an extended lunch hour and it is almost over."

"Oh, ok." Had Faye just apologized to him? She had been being way to nice this entire meal; what was she hiding? "Let's keep in touch, what's your number?"

"Jet has it." She said quickly and left.

*           *           *

            As Spike walked out of the café the sound of hurrying feet came towards him with hasty shouts of "Sir, Sir!" Spike turned around to see the waiter they'd had running towards him.

            "Yes?" Spike asked some what annoyed; couldn't the guy see that he was thinking.

            "Sir the lady you were with she left this at the table." The man handed him a small rectangular box.

            "Ummm, thanks." He said as the man walked away. 

            Curiosity getting the better of him Spike took of the lid to find old 20th century baseball cards.

            Finding a pay phone he looked up the number for the history museum. He hated these stupid old style ear phones that had no picture.

            "Museum of Technological history, how may I direct your call?"

            "Faye Valentine, please."

            "One moment please."

            "Modern history department, how may I help you?"

            "May I Speak to Faye Valentine, please." If he had to say please one more time.

            "I'm sorry Ms. Valentine has taken an extended lunch at her home today, would you like to leave a message?" 

            " No, no. You say she's at home?"

            "Yes, if you feel that its urgent I can get you her home number."

            "No, that's ok. I… I already have it."

            "Ok sir, have a lovely day then goodbye."

            "Bye."

            Spike flipped through the phone book and found it. Valentine, F. How many people could have that name.

            He went to his ship; _she wouldn't be home yet, cause despite what she may have told her secretary she hadn't gone home for lunch._

             The computer monitor flashed.

            "Yes Jet?" Spike asked flipping on the screen.

"Spike finally, you took forever. Anyway we need some stuff pick it up while you are down there. I'm sending it to you now."

A scrolling list appeared next to Jet's head on the screen.

"Damnit Jet there has to be over 5o things here how the hell am I supposed to fit all that stuff in here?"

"Make two trips. Oh and rent a car so you don't have to carry it all around. I got a friend who will give us one cheep."

*           *           *

Three and a half hours later Spike was still grumbling as he finished putting the last of the bags in the trunk of the car. Checking his position on the map he noticed that he wasn't very far from Faye's house. Maybe he should stop by and drop off the cards. It was perfectly innocent.

*           *           *

            As the water began to boil over the pot Faye quickly moved the pot off the heated burner and turned it off. Placing the pot back on she went to the phone. Thinking about how much she likes these older style ones where she didn't have to worry about people seeing her.

"Hi Marydeth, its Faye. Can you tell Landis he has ten minuets and then dinner."

            " –" 

            "Thanks."

            "—"

            "Ok. Bye then."

            She went back to the stove and proceeded to turn everything off, and took the garlic bread out of the oven.

            The doorbell rang.

            "Who? Must be Ed picking up Ein. Just a sec!" She called to the door. She wiped off her hands and walked the few steps down the hall to the door.

            Pulling it open she started, "I'm sorry, I didn't…" Her eyes went wide; fear shocking threw her system as she stared up at Spike.

            "Wha… What are you doing here?"

            He leaned against the side of the house cigarette dangling out of his mouth.

            "You left this at the café." He held out a small box she recognized as the old trading cards she had gotten for Landis.

            "Oh, thank you." She reached out for the box but Spike pulled it back.

            "You gonna invite me in?"

            "I'm kinda…" Why was she wasting time arguing with him? She had to get him out of here before Landis came home so it would be best if she played along. "I'm afraid that I'm kind of busy so only for a moment." She tried to be as polite as possible when she wanted to rip out his throat for the threat that he was causing on the life she had been working on for the past eight years.

            He went to walk past her but she put her hand against his chest to stop him. The action surprised both Faye and Spike. Her hand lingered there; feeling the warmth of his body under his clothes; longer then she would have liked.

            Her eyes fell to the ground as she slid her hand off him. "I don't allow smoking in the house."

            Spike raised an eyebrow and mumbled. "You smoke."

            "Not for a long time." She replied.

            Spike shrugged and threw his cigarette to the ground.

            He followed her down the hall past the kitchen, the stairs up, and the dinning room; into the living room. She sat in the arm chair and he in the couch across from her.

            He put the box on the coffee table in front of him. The room grew heavy with silence. Spike wondered why Faye was so nervous and Faye hoped Spike would hurry up and leave.

            "Are you gonna offer me a drink?"

            _Damn it, leave already. No must remain calm_.

            "Yes, what would you like?"

            "You got scotch?"

            "No."

            "Whiskey?"

            "No."

            "Beer?"

            "No, I don't allow alcohol either. Now, if you don't have something that you need to talk about I'm very busy and I'm going to have to ask you…"

            "You were hiding something at lunch today."

            Faye shut up. That same fear creeping up again. "What do you mean?"

            "I know you were hiding something. I know that something is bothering you. And I know it has something to do with me. I mean you're polite, you make small talk, you change the subject back to work constantly. And I know…"

            Faye squeezed the arm of her chair.

            "It has to do with what happened that night."

            Faye gave an inward sigh of relief, _so close yet so far._

            "Spike its…"

            "No let me finish. I never got to apologize for what happened or my behavior afterwards."

            Faye's eyes stung. "It's, It's ok it was a long time ago." She couldn't believe she was telling him that the defining moment of her life was nothing. She just had to keep it together.

            "Faye, are you crying?"

            "No, of course not," she said wiping her face. "I'm sorry but you really have to go. I have work."

            "Oh umm, ok"

            He was about to get up when the glass door opened and slammed shut. Looking back at Faye he saw all the color drain from her face.

            A small call came from the front door. "Mommy!"

            Spike looked back at the hall and back at Faye. Surely he wasn't Faye's…

Done for now. Feel the air tingle with suspense. Not so I lie again. Tiffo ^_^

Curiosity Killed the hobbit.


	5. Struggles

Dun Dun Dah. This will be my last update for a while cause I have to write the rest after this. I feel like I'm spoiling u people. Its great! Kay story time.

**Chapter 5:** Struggles

            "Mommy?!"

            Faye wrestled back some of her composure. _Everything was screwed, it was time to stop hiding_. "In here Landis." She called out.

            Spike watched as a young boy in Jeans, a tee-shirt, and a baseball cap came in and ran to Faye.

            "Mom guess what; today in class we learned how to do this." The kicked out and spun around, held his leg there for a moment and then gracefully laid the foot down and stood in a fighting stance.

            Faye could see Spike staring at them and she was filled with the urge to grab her son and run. Landis looked at Spike and studied him with his big brown eyes. Faye searched the larger version of those same eyes, there was only shock no sense of recognition. Maybe he wouldn't realize, who this boy staring at him was.

            Landis stepped up to Spike.

            "Who are you?"

            "Landis, this is Mr. Spike Spiegel." Faye told him. Landis smiled and held out a small hand to Spike who absent mindedly reached for it.

            Then as an after thought Landis took off his hat and brushed down his soft green hair. Spike froze immediately; finally noticing what Faye had feared.

            "Landis come here." Faye said with more urgency then she had wanted to. The confused boy returned to his mother's embrace.

            Faye felt like a deer trapped in headlights as Spike stared at her and his son. Yes, she knew that he had figured out it was his son. She just didn't know what he would do. She glared back at him clinging tightly to _her_ son.

            When his eyes began to loose their glaze, he looked like he was going to say something.

            "Landis!" Faye said turning her son to look into his eyes. "Go upstairs and wash up for dinner; then play in your room until I call you."

            "Ok mommy." He gave her a quick hug and ran up the hall to the stairs.

            Spike watched him and Faye watched Spike.

            "How old?" Spike asked still watching the hall. He didn't have to ask there was only one age the boy could be.

            "Seven, eight this September." The room was shrinking around her; she got up and went to the hall entrance.

            "Faye he's…"

            "Tall for his age I know." She turned around to find Spike was right behind her. Their faces only inches apart.

            "Faye he, he's my son isn't he."

            Anger filled her eyes. "He's _my son." She said turning and walking down the hall towards the kitchen. An arm blocked he path._

            "Why Faye? Why didn't you tell me?"

            She glared at him, ducked under his arm and continued walking. He grabbed her arm.

            "I deserve an explanation."

             She looked at his arm and back up at him. "You deserve nothing. Now get your hand off of me and get the hell out of my house."

            "Faye I…" he released her arm. "I don't know…"

            "Get out."

            "I can't just leave, not after this."

            "Yes," she leaned into his face. "Yes you can."

            "No, its not like I can just forget what just happened."

            "That's exactly what you are going to do. Leave, never come back; just forget that you were ever here. We don't need your help."

            "Faye."

            "Just get out!" She Screamed tears forming in her eyes.

            He didn't move.

            "Go." She tried to push him but he grabbed her arms and she felt all of the strength leak out of her body. She fell to the floor Spike helping to slow her decent. He held her against his chest.

            "Oh Faye, I'm so sorry."

            She wiped at her face. She wasn't going to do this, she was strong enough to raise Landis for nearly eight years she could handle talking to his father.

            "What do you want me to do?" He asked her.

            "Leave."

            "Faye no."

            "Go Spike I can't… I can't do this right now."

            Spike stood and walked to the door. "This isn't over." He said as he stepped through the door.

            Faye leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. She didn't hear the light footsteps come down the stairs and run out until she heard the door slam.

            Her eyes flying open she saw the young boy chasing after Spike.

            "Landis!" She screamed and ran after him.

            Spike had heard the door slam and then he felt a small hand tugging on his pant leg.

            Landis looked up at him and their almost matching orbs met; ensnaring Spike. "I know who you are now. You're the reason mommy's sad all the time, it's your picture she looks at when she's awake at night." He paused. "You're the reason she cries when she looks at me sometimes." Spike couldn't breath.

            "Landis!" Faye's pain filled screech pulled Spike out of his spell. Landis turned around and ran into the arms of his running mother.

            Spike wasn't sure what it was that he was feeling anymore, he wasn't sure of anything anymore. But seeing Faye sitting there in the grass clutching tightly to her son, his son, their son, he knew he would be back.

*           *           *

            The room was poorly lit,_ but that was probably the way he liked it, John thought._

            "You said you had something for me." He asked John.

            "Yes. Here." John clumsily gave him a small pile of photos.

            He studied them for a moment. "So he had lunch with Faye. Interesting. "

            "Sir, it gets better." John handed him three more pictures. The first showed Spike at the door of a quaint home. But the second, the second was the one that caught his attention. On the right of the picture was a woman with purple hair, that could only have been Faye running from the house towards the two figures in the center. Spike and a small boy. A sly smile spread across his lips. _Perfect, it was all too perfect_.

            "Ah Spike after all this time you have provided me with away of hurting you that I never could have." Looking at the third picture, which had Faye holding tightly to the small version Spike, Vicious chuckled to himself. Something he had not done in a very long time.

*           *           *

            He had wandered for countless hours, it was well past midnight by the time he got back up to the ship. He went to the kitchen and got a cup of coffee, but all he could do was stare at it. He couldn't bring himself to drink it.

            Jet walked in but Spike didn't look up. Jet poured himself some coffee.

            "How long?" Spike asked.

            "How long what?" 

            "How long have you known Jet?"

            Jet sighed, he knew this was coming. _Idiot I told you not to go poking around_. 

"Around seven years now," he said sitting down.

            "Why didn't you tell me?"

            "When was I supposed to do that? When you woke up? 'Welcome back to the world of the living buddy. By the way you have a son.'" Spike glared at him. "Besides Faye asked me not to and I respect her position."

            "Her position, _her position! What the hell about _my_ position! For God's sake I'm the kid's damn father and nobody feels like telling me!"_

            "Faye made a choice. When I found out about Landis she made me swear that if you ever woke up I wouldn't say anything."

            Spike rested his head in his palms. "God, he looks just like me, doesn't he?"

            "Yeah, yeah when Faye showed him to me he was only 7 months old and she didn't even have to tell me. I just knew. And you know he's more like you everyday. He loves to give Faye trouble and he's a natural at martial arts, he's already a green belt and just the other day he beat a boy who was twice his age."

            "But why Jet? Why didn't she tell me?"

            "I can't fully answer that Spike only she can."

*           *           *

            She was dreaming again; one of the same dreams that she always had. It was a dream of a memory, a dream of a day. The day everything had changed.

            She had walked back from the doctor's office in a daze. They had offered to drive her home but she felt that she needed the walk. She still couldn't believe what he had told her. She, she couldn't be pregnant. It just wasn't … fair. When she noticed that the light on her answering machine was blinking she had no intention of checking it but something drew her to it.

            Beep.

            "Ahem. Faye, this is Jet. I ah, used Ed to track you down. I ah just wanted to let you know that we found Spike." She felt her stomach clench at the mention of his name. "Spike is ah, he's not dead." Her knees gave out. _Alive, he was alive_? "But he's in a Coma and the doctors don't know if he'll ever get out of it. I guess that was all just though you should know. So give me a call if you ever need anything."

            Faye fell to the seat at the counter top. _He was alive, but wasn't, he may never truly be alive. _How could she raise her child if it knew that their father was alive but would never be able to see them; even then what if when he woke up and found out he didn't want anything to do with_ them. She couldn't risk putting her child threw that. No, he was dead and to her child he would always be dead. _

            Faye woke, there was someone in her room. She felt a scream forming in her throat when a large hand covered her mouth and she was pulled roughly out of bed. She heard Landis scream.

            Two sets of strong arms dragged her into the hall where another man was holding a kicking and yelling Landis. All she could see were his eyes the man's hand covered so much of his face.

            A man walked up in front of her, he was obviously in charge.

            "Hello pretty lady." He ran a hand down her cheek and she jerked back. His hand came back and slapped her across the face.

            "You stupid bitch!" Seeing the hurt in Landis' eyes that he had cause by slapping his mother; John accentuated the last word by kneeing Faye in the stomach. She doubled, the arms of the men the only thing supporting her.

            "Mommy!" Landis screamed through the hand.

            "Shut up you little bastard!" He raised his hand to Landis but it was stopped by someone new who came up the stairs.

            "Don't harm the boy. Yet." Vicious' soft voice told John.

            Faye's eyes widened in fear. _He, he was dead. Spike had killed him_.

            "What do we do with her?" John asked.

            Vicious looked at Faye his eyes piercing her nightgown.

            "Leave her." He looked at John, "unspoiled." He signaled to the men. "We have the boy lets go."

            The two men holding her threw her to the floor. She could see them carrying away her son.

            "Mommy!"

            "Landis" Faye screamed and then all was darkness.

*           *           *

            Spike and Jet hadn't spoken after that. They just sat at the table for a half an hour before Jet's Phone rang.

            Jet answered. "Hello?" His face immediately changed to one of concern. "What's the matter, slow down, I can't…, you're gonna have to…, Faye breath and tell me what happened."

            Spike Jumped up. _Faye, it was Faye and she was upset. He grabbed the phone from Jet. _

            "Faye what is it?"

            Sobs came from the other end.

            "Faye!"

            "Oh God, that bastard, he, the bastard…"

            "Who Faye?"

            "Vicious, that bastard, son of a bitch. He was here, he came here and he…"

            Spike felt his blood boil. He had killed Vicious he had almost died killing him.

            "Oh God no, oh God, oh God."

            "What Faye? What did he do?" A terrible thought crossed Spike's mind. "He didn't hurt you did he? Tell me Faye!"

            "He took him!"

            Spike couldn't move.

            "He took him Spike; he took our son!" Her sobs overtook her again. Spike felt the phone slip from his hand. He wasn't sure why but for the first time in his life he felt truly afraid.


	6. Memories and Pain

Ok Greetings again everyone! ^_^ Hope everyone is well and working up to total L337 Capacity. Things are going well for the Tiffo. It's a good time to be a chicken flea. We's only have 2 ½ weeks of real school left. Then finals, and two weeks a may term. Plus the lovely Kings Island trip. YAY! We all got to be kids sometimes at least that is what I'm told. Oh yeah thanx for all your reviews they make the Tiffo happy. Good for self-esteem, which apparently I need or some thing. My evil friends are telling me. Well we all know what I say to them. EAT BOOGERS AND DIE!!!  I mean P|-|34R |\/|1 L337 oh well I guess I'll just have to beat the shit out of them again. Call me anti-social. Hmm.

OK everyone knows by now. The Kid is Spikes well if you count sperm donation as partial ownership, which Faye doesn't want to. Their son's name is Landis and it is pronounced thusly, Lan-dis. I heard something like it on a commercial and I really liked it and I thought it would be good. I'm glad that some people like it.

HeavenlyAnimeAngel: I was particularly moved by your review. "DUDE!"   That touched me deeply. 

Darkness: Thank you for your opinion on uber-asshole (Vicious), and I'm not sure as always but things will only get shittier when Vicious decides that he really wants to hurt Spike. But Tiffo you say I thought that that was what he was doing? And I shall laugh. Why? Because I am Evil; EVVVVVIIIILLL. And its fun to write. ^_~

Yes and obviously that was not the end. But in truth I have no Idea how long I want this to be. I just need to decide if a happy ending is actually what I want. It's just so hard to picture. Domestication. *shudders*

**Why is it that when we are sad our mind always reminds us of other things that only seem to make it worse?**

**Chapter 6: Memories and Pain **

They landed on her driveway less then twenty minutes later. 

The inner house door was ajar and he could see into the dark house through the glass outer door. He burst through the doors, pushing the bigger one in the wall with a bang.

"Faye?!" The dark silence greeted him. The house was so dark. Outside the moon shone brightly but in here he could hardly see his hands. It was like there was something blocking it from the light. _She's not down here, his mind told him. Swiftly and silently he climbed up the stairs. There were three doors on the wall across from him the first was partially open and he saw it held a desk with a computer and a general messiness of papers. __Must be Faye's office at home. The next was the bathroom, he could tell because there was a piece of notebook paper attached to it with badly written hiragana that said "O-tearai". A small smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. For some reason he could see Faye teaching the kid another language. A small twinge of pride bubbled in his heart._

He looked up there were two more rooms, _must be the bedrooms_, the first was along the same wall the other doors had been on; the second just a little more forward on the other wall. This must be _his room; there were more pieces of paper attached to the door. One said "randesu no heya wa desu yo!" in hiragana, another had a rough picture of someone with green hair in a karate suit and said, "Karate Master enter at own risk." There were colored blocks of wood that spelled out his name in the center. Absentmindedly Spike began to run his fingers over the letters. The weight of his fingers on the door pushed it a bit further into the room. He could hear soft breathing coming from inside the room. He saw the moonlight cast down on a curled up figure leaning against the bed._

"Faye." He whispered as he came towards her. She didn't respond all he could hear was the faint dripping of water droplets falling onto paper. He crouched on the floor in front of her she held some papers in her hand.

Not looking up at him she began to whisper quietly, running her fingers along the drawings. "They were my mother's day present. He would close himself in his room for hours and work on them. I was so excited when he gave them to me. That was until I looked at them." Faye pulled the papers away from were she clutched them to her breast. There was a woman with blond hair and blue eyes she was dressed all in white and had large white wings sprouting from her back. She held the hand a little boy that Spike recognized as Landis' representation of himself.

"He said to me 'look mommy I drew one of me with an angel so you would have to worry and know that I was always safe.' I… I just snapped. I couldn't see what he was trying to tell me all I saw was _her." She looked up at Spike. "I saw her taking my son away. It was like she was mocking me. And I screamed at him. I told him there were no such things as angels. I was so frighten I didn't even realize how much I was hurting him. I was so afraid of being alone." She hugged herself into an even smaller ball. "And now he's gone." She choked on her own words. "And I'm alone again."_

Spike felt unsure what to do. He put his hand on her shoulder playing slightly with the strap of her nightgown. He had never known Faye to be anything but cocky and bull headed to the last; but now she wasn't rude heartless Faye anymore. This new Faye was vulnerable and those vulnerabilities had been exploited; and that made him very mad. He had wanted Vicious dead before, in fact he had though he had done the job; but now he had crossed the line. Vicious could kill him as many times as he liked; but this. _This time I kill you nice and slow._

He moved his free hand to Faye's hair only to find her flinch away at his touch. His hand felt wet and in the pale light he could see a smear of red across his fingers. "Faye you're bleeding." _Really Slow. Faye looked through him. "Come on." He wrapped his arms around her and lifted helping her to the bathroom._

*           *           *

            Jet walked around the house looking for any sign of how Vicious' men had gotten in the house. He was just about to round the coroner and go back inside when he heard a familiar bark.

*           *           *

            The cut wasn't deep it must have been made by the butt of a gun. She was propped up against the wall eyes glazed over lost in a world of memories. He worked on her head when her hand came up and she ran her fingers along the edge of his jaw. His hand stopped.

            "Your so beautiful; when you're mouth isn't getting in the way."

            He looked at her eyes but they still held a lost gaze, he knew she wasn't looking at him now.

            She was in the hospital, years earlier.

            "You know people say that you can still hear us. On a subconscious level. I guess that is a comfort to some people. I hope you can't. I don't want you to know me like this. So weak. You would laugh. Tell me I was a stupid woman."

            Faye looked down at Spike's sleeping form. Willing him with every fiber of her soul to wake up.

            "I'm a walking contradiction." She laughed a sad painful laugh. "Everyday I wake up hoping that today will be the day when Jet calls me and tells me you're awake. And everyday I wake up fearing that today's the day that Jet will call me and tell me that you've woken up." She blinked back the tears. "You have a son Spike." She laughed again at the absurdity of her own statement. "He looks just like you. And he loves to make my life difficult. The doctors said he was just a finicky baby. But I know the truth, he can't help it, it's in his genes." Her face turned hard. "I'm sorry you will never meet him." She paused staring hard at him. "You left me once I will never allow you to do that to my son". She bit her lip fighting back the growing pain in her heart. "Why Spike? Why did you do it? Why did you leave us to die? How could you be so selfish?" She slapped his blank face.

            Spike's face stung from where she had slapped him. But he was too engrossed to notice. 

            "I cried myself to sleep for a month after you left. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my body and was placed in a freezer. I would sneak into your room at night and just lay there thinking that you would come back and yell at me for being in your bed. But I know now what I wouldn't let myself believe then." She paused. "You're dead." She turned away from the hospital bed. "Goodbye Spike Spiegel." She whispered to the air.

            Faye's eyes closed and her head lulled to its side. "Faye?" Spike shook her a little, "No wake up Faye. I'm not there I'm here. Now is the time to stay awake. I need you to stay awake just a little longer." He pulled her into him. "I need you..." He stopped; forgetting what he was going say. _He needed her_.

            Spike blinked realizing there was truth in his words. He hadn't meant it like that, but they did. And now he could feel it; he did need her. He felt it in the depths of himself. He was so confused; everything was happening so quickly. All he wanted was to be… be what? Something in the back of his mind told him that he wasn't ready to think about it.

            "Ahem." Spike looked out the door at Jet. "Is she ok?" As if in response Faye shifted in Spikes arms.

            "She might have a concussion, so we should wake her up; but let's get her to the ship first." Smooth. He was totally cool calm and collected.

            "I'll get her some stuff you… get her." A small yip came from behind Jet. "Oh yeah, and look who I found." A familiar welsh corgi stepped between Jet's legs. His tongue and tail waging in greeting. Ein looked from Spike to Faye and let out a small whine. "Come on" Jet told the dog as he walked towards Faye's room. Inside he had expected to make her a bag of things but instead found that there was one already packed on her bed.

            "Hmmm. Oh, well." Jet picked up the bag and left the house. As he walked out of the house he remembered that both Spike and his ships were one-person seaters. Where were they going to put Faye? He never had to ask.

            When he got outside Spike had already maneuvered himself so that he was already in the cockpit with the sleeping Faye curled on his chest and lap. Spike absent mindedly brushed a few strands of hair from Faye's face; and for reasons he wasn't sure of the action caused Jet to smile.

*           *           *

            Jet walked in front of him since his hands were…full. The little smirk that Jet had had plastered to his face ever since he saw him get out of his ship was beginning to grate on Spike's nerves. Damn happy people. Especially at a time like this what the hell was there to be happy about. Placing Faye softly on the couch Spike sat across from her and lit up.

            After a moment Jet walked back threw with a small medical kit

            "Well get her up," Jet said putting the small box on the table. "We have to make sure that she doesn't have a concussion." He turned around and went back towards the hall. "I want her up when I get back." Jet turned back and looked at Spike. "But gently."

            Spike raised an eyebrow and Jet left.

            _Gently?__ Gently. What the hell did gently mean? It wasn't like he was gonna throw her off the couch. He'd just shake her shoulder or something. One of the straps of her nightgown had slid of her shoulder; and when he fixed it he couldn't help but run his hand down her dark blue silk covered side. She felt surprisingly cool and she shivered slightly at his touch._

            _Gently.__ Right Gently._

            He gingerly moved her hair from her face allowing his fingers to linger on her skin. Again he noticed the temperature difference. He remembered what she had been saying in the bathroom. And leaning over her face he whispered.

            "Your so beautiful; when you're mouth isn't getting in the way." With that he closed the gap and pressed his lips gently to hers." _Gently_. Why was he doing this? Did he really care for Faye, that didn't seem possible, but it…it was? Or maybe it was pity for what was happening to her. Or regret for what he had done or not done for her all this time. No, it was… something. He just didn't know yet.

            He might have kept thinking about it and enjoyed what was happening had he not found that something cold, hard and very sharp and pointy was pressed against his neck.

            He opened his eyes and sat up but the knife followed.

            "What the **_hell_ do you think you were doing?" She sounded like she wished her very words could cut him open and leave him bleeding on the floor and her eyes… her eyes reflected her words. She emphasized her words even more by pressing the knife against him even harder. He flinched back slightly.**

            "I…I don't." He swallowed causing the knife to nick his skin. Faye almost flinched but kept her ice cold stare.

            Spike didn't like this situation. He was starting to feel scared. And he was supposed to be the calm stoic one. Not whatever it was that she was doing to him. He was rock solid, he was …looking at her breasts again. _Damn it!_ He looked back at her face. She had noticed. _Damn it! There was some kind of crazed look in her eyes._

            "Don't think for a second that I might make the same mistake twice. I'm not as weak as I used to be." She paused. "Or as stupid."

            Spike felt hurt, he knew what had happened shouldn't of but he wasn't that bad was he? He could see his own blood running down her arm from where she held the knife to his throat.

            "GOD DAMNIT!" Jet's voice barked from the doorway. "Can't I leave you two alone for thirty seconds with out you guys trying to kill each other? Spike I thought I told you to wake her up gently."

            Spike looked from Faye to Jet and back to Faye. He shouldn't be here; he was faster then Faye he could slip out of her grasp. Or at least he thought he could, but there was something in her eyes that unnerved him and made him distrust his own judgment.

            "Faye give me the knife." Jet was using his fatherly voice again. "Faye, now!"

            Spike felt the pressure slip away from his neck and Faye's eyes slide to the floor. She held out the knife like a scolded child.

            Jet grabbed it from her and threw it on the table. "Where did you get this?"

            Faye didn't answer she just looked to ware her night gown was bunched up and a thigh sheath could be seen. Jet rolled his eyes. And Spike used this as an opportunity to look along her body._ God Damnit, what the hell?! He wanted to beat whoever was in charge of his subconscious mind._

            Feeling Spike's eyes on her Faye pulled her gown down and pulled her knees to her chest. Spike got up and moved back to his seat across from her.

            Jet sat on the table between them looking back and forth at the mess they both were. Physically, but more so mentally. _Eight years; they've had eight years to try and figure out how to behave like adults around each other and they still couldn't do it How the hell did they ever get close enough to make a kid and live_. Jet chuckled softly to himself as opened the medical kit. He leaned over towards Faye but she recoiled.

            "What are you doing?" She asked quickly.

            "Checking to see if you have a concussion."

            "I don't have a concussion."

            "I'll decide that." 

            She glared at him. "I don't have a concussion."

            "Fine." He sighed. "Let me check your head wound then."

            "It's fine."

            He stared at her, why was she being so stubborn?

            "I'm fine. Help him." She nodded towards Spike.

            "He's fine right now let me check you first."

            "No!"

            Jet blinked. "Ok, fine."  He turned to Spike, but Faye wasn't watching anymore. She was staring at the blood on her arm. _His blood. __She had cut him. She had held a knife to his throat and she was ready in all ways to kill him. She felt her throat dry. She licked her lips in a futile attempt to find moisture. Instead she tasted him. He still tasted the same. The same as that night… _Landis_. There was a dull pain starting in her heart and growing across her chest. She had been ready to kill the only other connection she had with Landis. Even if it was a far fetched one. She ran her finger through the blood smearing it over her arm. Someone was talking to her. She looked up at Jet. Who started examining her head._

            "How…how is he?" She asked when she trusted her voice a bit. It betrayed her anyway wavering as she spoke.

            Jet looked at her. "He's fine. You only hit the skin."

           "Oh that's good." That was all Faye got out before her lip started shaking and she had to cover her face with her hands.

            A large hand covered her own and pulled them away from her face. _He's just like my father, Faye though as Jet put her hands in her lap. "Hey now," He whispered to her. "There's no time for that." She looked at him and nodded feeling her self come back together from the scattered pieces she was becoming. "I know it's hard, but you have to be strong now ok. We all need you to keep it together especially in front of Spike. And especially for Landis."_

            At the mention of his name her shoulders shook and a small sob escaped her strong facade. Jet rubbed her shoulder. "Look your head isn't too bad, I think what you need is to take a nice long hot shower and calm down before we start discussing everything."

            Faye nodded.

            "Yes? Ok." Jet made it a point to get up with her and walk her to the door standing between her and Spike.

            Before she left she stopped and looked up at him. "Thank you." She whispered her voice still not strong, "For everything."

            "Don't mention it."


	7. Decisions

Hey there peoples. Once again Domo arigato gozaimasu for the reviews. I only have 6 days of real classes left. Yippy! But then I have finals. But that should give me more time to write. OOOoooo we hopes so we have such _lovely plans. *evil laugh*. Oh and sorry for the overly cliché moment that I'm gonna have with Faye in this chapter. I always hated it when people had their characters listen to music. Or something clichéy like that oh well. It's just too perfect._

            Oh yeah and I always for get. I don't own CB or the songs Rest in pieces and Epiphany. I just want to use them. And I want to use Spike but that's for something different. Reow. Oh my did I just say that?!  tehehe. ^_^

            Any who, here's the next chapter. Originally it was part of chapter 6 but I decided chapter 6 was taking and getting too long.

**Chapter 7:** Decisions

            Jet had been right a shower was what she needed. She needed time alone to think and to get away from thinking. The sound of the shower and the radio turned up helped. She wasn't listening to the music, it was just there. Something to drown out her mind. Her head was tender still and it hurt as she scrubbed the blood out of her scalp. She watched it run along the bottom of the shower her blood mixing with his from her arm. She still couldn't believe what she had almost done; and she could still taste him in her mouth. 

_Look at me, _

_My depth perception must be off again  
Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did  
It has not healed with time  
It just shot down my spine._

Why was she acting so strangely? She had forgotten about all this. She had moved on. Why was it still there ripping at her mind? It was because of him. Not just because he had come back, no she could handle that. It was… it was because he had come back a second time come back for her. He had come for her. The night was still hazy to her but she had seen his eyes. The pain and _caring that they held. It was so strange to see. It opened up the old scars of her heart._

_You look so beautiful tonight  
Reminds me how you laid us down  
And gently smiled before you destroyed my life._

_Would you find it in your heart?  
To make this go away  
And let me rest in pieces_

            How dare he. How dare her show the least bit of compassion towards her. She didn't want him she wanted Landis. And her other life back. He was playing with her mind. Playing with her hopes and her heart.

 _Would you find it in your heart?  
To make this go away  
And let me rest in pieces  
Would you find it in your heart?  
To make it go away  
And let me rest in pieces_

            But no he had to come he had to poke around in _her_ life! He couldn't just let things be. 

_Look at me, my depth perception must be off again  
You got much closer than I thought you did  
I'm in your reach  
You held me in your hands  
  
_

            She didn't know how she had gotten back on the ship. But she was not surprised to be here. She had vague memories of calling. And of seeing him. She knew she had been talking but she didn't know what about. Probably things she would regret knowing Spike. And herself. Her stupid baka dumbass self. She had told him that she wasn't as weak as she used to be, but that was a lie. She was weaker. At least when it came to him.

_But could you find it in your heart?  
To make this go away  
And let me rest in pieces_

            She used to know what he was to her. Annoying. A stupid dumbass lunkhead. But being around him was bringing up old new feelings. What was he now? Older, more mature, an old partner, someone she had slept with, the father of her son, the love of her life? He may have been these things but there was still one thing that he always was and always will be. Spike the untouchable.

_Would you find it in your heart?  
To make it go away  
And let me rest in pieces_

            She blinked; the song had ended, and it had been over for a while. She couldn't remember how long she had been standing in there; but the water was starting to feel cooler. Turning off the cold she let the last of the hot water scold along her body burning the flesh and memories off her.

*           *           *

            _That crazy bitch!_ Spike let the cigarette hang from the edge of his mouth. He was feeling much better now that it was over and he was incased in his cloud of smoke. He rubbed at the piece of gauze that Jet had taped to his neck. _I can't believe she stabbed me.__ What the hell was wrong with her?__ And speaking of messed up people what the hell was wrong with me. What could ever posses him to kiss Faye? Other then large amounts of alcohol, but he already knew what happened when that was involved. The two of them and alcohol did not make very good bedfellows. Or maybe too good of bedfellows._

            It was so strange he hadn't though about this in so long. No that wasn't true. He did think about it just not like this. 

_Your words to me just a whisper_

_Your face is so unclear_

_I try to pay attention_

_Your words just disappear_

            Sometimes he could forget everything she had ever said to him. He could almost forget her. _Almost. He remembered the smoothness of her skin, the way she had tasted, and what an asshole he had been the next morning._

_'Cause it's always raining in my head_

_Forget all the things I should have said_

            It was something he had always regretted. Not the act, Faye may regret that but he liked the memory just fine. It was just the end that he always hated.

_So I speak to you in riddles_

_Because my words get in my way_

_I smoke the whole thing to my head_

_And feel it wash away_

            He knew she had locked herself in her room and cried all day he was just to much of a jerk to do something about it. Well it wasn't like there was anything he really could have done. He was never good at talking to people and what the hell could he have said. He took a long drag on his cigarette.

_'Cause I can't take anymore of this_

_I wanna come apart_

_Or dig myself a little hole_

_Inside your precious heart_

            He ran his fingers through his hair. All these conflicting thoughts were giving him a headache.

_'Cause it's always raining in my head_

_Forget all the tings I should of said_

            He rubbed his temples. Maybe he was just cursed with being an asshole.

_I am nothing more than a little boy inside_

_Who cries out for attention_

_Yet I always try to hide_

            Jet was right he did act like a kid. Why did this have to become so complicated. Things used to be simple. He liked pestering Faye; not her.

_Cause I talk to you like children_

_Though I don't know how I feel_

_But I know I'll do the right thing_

_If the right thing is revealed_

            Then there was Landis. Of all the shit that he may have done or gotten himself into this was the kicker. Holy Shit! He had a kid. He, Spike Spiegel had a kid. It… well it was scary. To think that the powers that be would let someone else with his messed up genetics run around this universe was frightening. He could only imagine how stubborn the kid had to be. He wanted to know. He got this nagging feeling that he had been deprived of years he could have known. It was like it was his duty, no his right to know.

_But it's always raining in my head_

_Forget all the things I should have said_

            He put out his cigarette. He may be really confused about a lot of things but there was one thing he knew. They were getting Landis back; Vicious was gonna pay, and then he and Faye were going to have a long talk. _That's three things. Thanks Mind. But whatever. You get the point. __ I was just making a statement. Shut up. __Geeze__ touchy._

            He had two more cigarettes and started to doze on the couch. The radio was still playing in the bathroom. How long was she going to be in there? As if on cue the music turned off, but Faye did not come walking through the halls on the way to her room. Spike felt his eyelids grow heavy.

            "Are you gonna get that." Jet's voice asked from the doorway.

            "Huh?" Spike opened his eyes. He had dozed off.

            "We have a call get it will ya."

            "Oh." Lazily and still half asleep Spike hit the button accepting the call. When the face flashed up all thoughts of sleep were replaced.

            "Vicious." He whispered through gritted teeth. Jet's face popped back in the room quickly followed by the rest of him. Apparently he hadn't whispered as much as he thought.

            "Spike; nice to know you still remember me."

            Spike glared at him wishing he could just leap through the screen and strangle him right now. They just stood there staring at each other. Seconds creped by, minuets following closely on their heals.

            There was a gasp behind Spike and Vicious' eyes moved past him.

            He smiled, if something so sick and twisted that appeared on his face could ever be called a smile. "Ms. Valentine."

            Spike looked back at Faye. She glared at Vicious like a tigress waiting for the kill. But he could see something else, she was afraid. She had backed herself against the wall trying to put as much distance between herself and the screen as she could.

            She was only in her towel and Spike didn't like the way Vicious kept Staring at her. He stepped to the side blocking the view of Faye. Vicious' smile widened and then disappeared.

            "What'd you call here for Vicious?" Spike asked.

            "I Believe I have come to acquire something that belongs to the two of you."

            The view changed and they say two men standing behind a chair that held a small boy seated next to Vicious.

            "Landis!" Faye screamed. She was right behind Spike now and she almost ran past him but he put out an arm to stop her.

            The little boy looked up. "Mommy!" He reached for the screen too but was pulled back to his seat by the men behind him.

            "How touching." Vicious said as he changed the view back to its original one.

            "You bastard give me back my son." Faye screamed at him.

            "Bastard, oh no my dear my parents were happily married until I was born."

            Spike saw the pain and embarrassment flash behind Faye's eyes and he found himself stepping in front of Faye again. But this time she pushed him out of the way.

            "He's just a little boy. He's not involved in your and Spike's stupid feud."

            "But you see that's where you are wrong. He is involved. He was involved ever since he was conceived."

            "Give him back!"

            "No." Vicious' answer was short but it held the weight of a bomb.

            "What do you mean, No?" Faye couldn't believe it. He didn't want something else, a trade, he just wanted to take her son.

            "I have decided that it be best if I keep him for a while and get to know him a bit. He seems quite the intelligent boy."

            Faye bristled with anger. "If you even touch him, I promise you I will personally rip out your throat."

            "Until our next meeting." The screen went blank.

            "No!" Faye grabbed at the screen. Then she saw her knife still on the table and grabbed it up a new yet strangely familiar thought filling her mind.

            "You." She glared at Spike; pointing the knife at his throat once again. "This is all your fault."

            Spike wasn't even noticing he was busy thinking up ways of killing Vicious so that he was really really dead this time. 

"Our lives were fine until you showed up." The light flashed on the edge of the knife. The glint hitting his eye and steering him back into reality. Just in time to block Faye.

He grabbed her wrist as she came at him. Squeezing it in an effort to make her drop the knife. She brought up her other hand to hit him but he stopped that too. Finally her grip on the knife loosened and it fell from her hand. 

"Stop it Faye!" He shook her a bit as he spoke. She met his eyes. Piercing emerald daggers that held such a strong combination of pain and hatred. "Just stop it! You're not being rational. These emotional out spurts aren't helping anything, but shortening my life expectancy."

"Let go of me." She hissed.

"Not until you calm down."

"I am CALM!" She screeched.

Spike's face scrunched up. "Obviously not."

"Let me go!"

"No!"

"Aaaaaaahhh." Her screaming grew in intensity and pitch; and she squirmed against his hold.

"Stop fighting Faye you'll only make it worse."

She only continued to squirm. He was sure she was getting Indian burns on her wrists from his hands.

"Damn it Faye!" Spike let go, but before she could turn away from him he grabbed her again and pulled her into him. In the tightest embrace she had ever been in.

She stopped for a moment surprised; but then continued her useless battle. She couldn't move her arms any more so she just tightened all her muscles and pushed against him. Till finally the frustration got to her and she screamed into his chest, he could feel her hot wet breath seeping its way threw his shirt. Her muscles went lax and if he hadn't been holding her so tightly he might have dropped her. His shirt was getting wetter. He knew she was crying even though he couldn't hear anything.

Jet had been watching everything, first the call and now this. He wasn't sure which was more bizarre Vicious' call or Spike and Faye's behavior afterwards. Well it had started off closer to normal; them fighting; it wasn't anything new but the fact that instead of maiming each other or storming off in different directions they stood, together, Spike holding her to him. Maybe he was wrong when he had thought that they hadn't changed in eight years. They had. They just didn't know it yet. Still as 'sweet' or whatever the moment was it was still weird and slightly freaking him out. He decided that it was tiem to break up the party.

"Hey you guys. Hey!"

"Shhhh." Spike scolded him looking over his shoulder at him. "She fell asleep." He shifted his arms to pick her up.

"Oh." Jet said slightly confused. 

"I swear to God she's got to be bi-polar or something." Jet laughed.

"Yeah and tired." Jet added as he started walking out of the room towards the hall with the rooms.

"Wow. I don't remember her ever being like this before." Spike said following Jet out.

"I told you she was different." Jet told him as he went into the kitchen for his final nightly check of the ship.

"Yeah." Spike answered the still air.

Placing her on her old bed he pulled the sheet up over her. He was going to leave but he found himself unable to move. He just stared at her watching her sleep. For some reason he had the urge to kiss her again, but the hole in his neck made him decide otherwise. She was crazy, and she was beginning to make him crazy.

_You can't decide if you love someone in a day_. He told himself. Besides he'd been in love before and this was different. With Julia he had wanted to be with her all the time, he missed her when they were apart. He felt his whole body die when she had died. That. That was love. This was different. He didn't want anything to happen to Faye, he knew that. But, he and Julia could have been together forever. He could see that. But Faye she was…Faye. Rude, obnoxious, a lying stealing poker playing bitch; she was the opposite of everything that Julia was. No, that was the old Faye. The new Faye, well from what he could see the new Faye was cleaned up; almost too much. She didn't smoke, didn't drink, she dressed appropriately. And it seemed she was an emotional wreck.

Yet, or perhaps that was why he found himself drawn to this new Faye. This weaker yet so much stronger Faye. It seems that she finally got in touch with her true feminine side. And her maternal side.

Spike smiled and leaned over her. "It suits you." He kissed her forehead and left the room. Knowing in the back of his mind the truth that he didn't want to face yet.

He loved her.

*           *           *

            The phone was ringing.

            She reached out to grab the one of her nightstand only to find that there was no nightstand. She opened her eyes. She was in her room, but wasn't. She was in her room on the ship, how had she. Oh. The memories came back to her.

            The phone rang again. _That's strange they don't have phones on the ship. She got up trying to track the sound of the phone. It lead her to a small duffle bag on the floor at the end of the bed. She didn't recognize it._

            The phone rang again. She shuffled through the bag until her hand found the small silver cellular phone.

            "Hello?" She asked not even sure whose phone this was.

            "Ms. Valentine." Her back stiffened at his voice.

            "Vicious."

            "Very good Ms. Valentine; I have a proposition for you. Now are you going to start screaming again or shall we discuss like civilized people."

            "Civilized. Isn't that a contradiction in terms for you."

            There was no response, till finally. "Are you alone Ms. Valentine?"

            "Maybe."

            "Yes then. I have a deal to make with you. A simple trade. You for your son."

            "Why me?" She wasn't ready for a second to trust him but if this was gonna be the only option he gave her. "I thought you wanted Spike."

            "That is such old news. I don't see why you continue to bring it up. And besides you are much more attractive then that lanky fool." He waited a moment making sure he had her full attention. "You will meet one of my men at the Metropolitan Opera on Mars. In the bag that you found this phone I have provided you with everything you will need. Box ten. Oh and you should hurry the Opera starts in a few hours." The quiet click of him hanging up sounded deafening.

            In the bag she found a long black evening gown and some Chinese hair sticks to put her hair up with. Also there was a ticket to tonight's opera. She changed quickly and slid out of her room. It was around noon but after the previous nights activities everyone else was still sleeping. She slipped into the hanger and found it hidden in the back. She ran her hand over her Redtail._ It's been too long_. She thought.

            She glanced at Spike's precious Swordfish before taking off.

            "I'm sorry Spike."

Well There you have it that's the end of that chapter, finally. Man am I glad I turned it into two Chapters. I might not have an update for a while as I have finales the next two weeks. But till then. This is Tiffo signing off. ~_^

Curiosity killed the Hobbit

P.S. I don't own Hobbits either. *tear


	8. Last will and testament

YAY for the next chapter! Thanx for all your reviews. They make Tiffo happy… ehh happier... ehh happish. Happy is not a term we use to describe the Tiffo. SO FULL OF ANGST!!! Yep so now that I've gotten that out of my system. Time to write and make all of you angry at me. HE HE ^_^. OH the evilness that I have planned its exciting. I wrote the ending it will be critiqued of course, but just a warning there are only like 3 more chapters that I am planning on doing. Oh well. Ok gtg and type now. Sorry this is takeing so long I went home for the weekend and I had finals today, but now I am done so I can get back to the good stuff.

PS. I own nothing. Except my computer, bought it and now I'm flat broke. Better go talk to the Don about getting some more work. Oh well vacations suck. Hey though, like I said I don't own any of the characters. Except Landis, he's my baby. ^_^

**Chapter 8:** Last will and Testament  

            He leaned over her almost shoving his face against hers. The close proximity sending mixed feelings through her. She knew he was leaving. It was practically her fault he was going. She was the one who had given him the message. She had stood in the doorway watching him clean his gun. She allowed herself that one moment of imbedding his image into her mind. She had though it safe, but he still saw her. Now he was here standing over her talking about his eyes. _His beautiful eyes**.**** Why was he talking about his eyes? And why did it hurt her so?**_

            "Don't tell me that, you never told me anything about yourself don't tell me now."

            He was going to die, it was all her fault and he wanted to tell her things he knew she'd never forget. Was he mocking the pain in her heart? Could he see how he could crush her with a mere word or glance. How she felt her heart open up to him the more she could see him.

            "My… my memory it came back." She whispered. _Look at me. Look at me._ She pleaded. _ For once in your life Spike, notice me. I'm here now, she isn't. Pick me!_ Her mind was screaming. Why would he ever pick her; she wasn't Julia filled with that common yet so dangerous beauty. She was just Faye, plain Faye. She didn't have anything he would ever want. She was still talking, she hadn't even realized, it was like she was someone else. Watching what life she had being destroyed. _ You don't have to stay with me. Just stay._ She pleaded with him in her mind too frightened to actually say any of this to him. _Please, please stay._

            "I'm not going there to die, I'm going to see if I'm really alive." He was answering her, answering a question she didn't even remember asking. But there was no time to wonder what her last few minuets of conversation had been, he was walking away. She brought up her gun, fighting the pain. _ Why was she so horrible? She was so horrible that he would rather die then stay in her presence. She held the gun above her head and let her finger squeeze. Once, twice. She left five holes in the ceiling. Five more holes Jet would have to patch up. He never did. _

            It wasn't much later that the tears had come. And they had come as if they were never to end.

*           *           *

            Faye woke with a start almost hitting her head on the cabin window. A silent tear was escaping down her cheek. She had had that dream too many times. And she really didn't want to have it now. It was ironic, now it was her turn to go find Vicious and die. Yes. She had already decided that she wouldn't live through this. She just knew. But as long as Landis and Spike were ok she didn't care.

            Her thoughts drifted back to the memory dream. She had sat up many a night wondering how things might have been different. If she had known, about Landis, would it have stopped him? Would she have stopped him? Would she have told him? No, she knew she wouldn't have. Nothing would have changed except for maybe it could have crushed her more. Maybe the fact that she hadn't known was a blessing. It had been still too early to know. Not to say that she had been very aware of it when it should have been painfully obvious. She was probably the only woman in the universe who could be four months pregnant and not realize it. The world just hadn't seemed normal; she had thought it was his death. The sickness, the weakness, the emotional spurts. The fact that she hadn't had her period should have been the big clue but time wasn't right in her head and she never noticed that she had missed it. It wasn't until she went to the doctors to see why she couldn't keep anything down that she knew. She should have known.

            _Landis_. She hoped he was ok. She didn't want to think about the emotional trauma he might have when he was older. And that she wouldn't be there to comfort him. She hugged her arms around herself in a futile attempt at comfort. _It was ok, he would be ok. Jet would take good care of him. Maybe Spike will even help. She held herself closer. She couldn't think about what she would be doing to her son. She was saving him now and that was what mattered. She hoped he was ok._

            She hoped Spike wasn't too mad.

*           *           *

"GOD DAMNIT!" Jet was, rudely, awakened by Spikes yelling. He rubbed at the sleep in his eyes. It was after noon he shouldn't be this tired.

Opening the door he let the light assail his eyes adjusting them just in time to see Spike's hand slam into the wall by Faye's room down the hall.

"That stupid bitch." He leaned his head against the wall now.

"She left, huh?" Jet gave a half yawn. He figured this should bother him more but it wasn't in the least surprising.

"Shit!" Spike hit his head against the wall. "I don't understand, where is she going? Why is she going?" He stopped. He had heard those words before. A small shock ran though him. She had said…when he… Vicious. He had to have something to do with this.

"Oh well I'll be in the shower." Jet turned to head down the hall towards the bathroom. 

"What?!"

Jet looked back at Spike. "Look there isn't anything we can do yet. After I shower I'll call Ed she'll be able to track her down. Until then get dressed and maybe you should shower when I'm done. You look like shit." Jet turned back to bathroom not listening to Spike's whispered response.

"Yeah, well you try sorting out my head."

Though he didn't hear that, the last thing he did hear before shutting the bathroom door was Spike yelling 'Damnit Faye' kicking the wall and exclaiming 'Shit!'.

*           *           *

            He was in the kitchen and Spike was still in the shower when the call came.

"Yep." Jet answered. Faye's face popped on the screen. She smiled slightly, you know the kind of smile when you know you did something wrong but you don't want the people to be mad cause you probably need them for something. For some reason the smile felt accustomed to her.

"Jet" She slightly drew out his name.

"Where are you Faye?"

"Out." Her voice was sharp. She didn't want to talk about it. He had heard this voice too often when it came to Spike.

Like she was reading his mind she asked. "Is he there?"

 "In the shower."

"Good. Jet this isn't a pleasure call."

He stared at her.

"I'm getting Landis." She cut him off before he could say anything. "Don't ask me how. I know what I'm doing despite what you may think. I just want you to know, I just want to ask you, remind you. You're Landis' Godfather so I'm asking you to hold true to the promise you made me."

Jet knew where this was going. " Faye…"

"I don't want to argue. I just want to make sure that he has someone to take care of him." He opened his mouth again. "You can handle it I know. I mean you put up with me all of those years. But don't be so nice on him. He needs to go to bed by nine, no sugar after five pm." Her voice cracked and her lip quivered slightly despite everything she was doing to fight it. "And Jet tell him I love him and that I never left him." She was on the verge of crying now. She held her face in her hands.

Jet had sat unmoving through out this. But he wouldn't be able to take much more. He couldn't stand to see her like this. She was reverting. Becoming the way she was after Spike had 'died'. He didn't like the way she was then. He didn't like the way he had found her in Spike's room with the knife. The same knife she had stabbed Spike with now that he thought about it. She had been starring at death and welcoming it. And she had that same look in her eyes now. She knew she was going to die and she had accepted it was waiting for it even.

She wiped at her eyes, face stern. "Tell Spike, to leave him the hell alone. I don't need that son of a bitch being mean to him." She stared hard at Jet, "and don't you dare tell Spike that I called you, I don't want that heartless asshole chasing after me and messing things up."

"Maybe this heartless asshole doesn't care what you want."

Faye's eyes widened a little at the sound of his voice. Jet looked behind him at a wet haired Spike who was only in his training sweatpants. Jet wondered if he had actually showered or was just sweaty from working out. Spike stepped into her view his whole body instantly visible before he sat down and only his head and shoulders showed. In that instant Faye's eyes changed from shock to something else and then to ice.

"Where are you Faye?"

"Screw you."

"I think that's how we got into this mess." Spike flinched at his own remark.  _Stupid._ Boy that was an assholish thing to say. Way to win her over_._

Faye's eyes widened in shock again. And folded to slits. "You son of a Bitch. How dare you!"

Spike flinched again.

Jet sighed, they had been getting so far.

Faye turned away from Spike. "I'm trusting you Jet. Promise me. I need to have that."

Jet wanted to argue with her tell her there was another way. But the sad part was that he couldn't think of one. All he could think to say was.

"Your suicide. You promised me you wouldn't do it again. How can I keep a promise to you if you want to break the only one I had you make."

She looked down at her wrists. She had blocked it. "No, no that." She shook her head.

"It happened Faye, you can't keep pretending things didn't happen it doesn't make them go away. I found you there on the floor in Spike's room."

She could see the blood. Hear the soft dripping. It was drowning out his voice.

She was in Spike's room, it was dark, the small flashes of light reflecting off the knife in her hand. She watched as the blood welled up her wrists. The cuts she noticed were uneven; the second one, the one on her right was messier not as straight. She reached with the knife to straighten it up but it fell from her hands. She leaned over to pick it up but instead fell to the floor. She didn't know how long she had laid there. Not long. The door came open and Jet screamed her name. It had sounded so far away. He took her up and brought her to the living room, where he bandaged her wrists and made her have some beef broth.

She had left two days later. 

_But that, that was different_ her mind screamed.

 "This is different!" She was almost crying again.

"No Faye, it isn't."

She glared at him a moment and turned off the screen.

Spike sat silently. His mind was trying to process what he had heard. She had…She tried to…In his room? 

Jet ran a hand through his non-existent hair.

Spike needed a change in subject. "What, umm what is she doing? Where is she going?"

"I don't know."

"What did she call for then?"

"To settle things."

Spike didn't like the sound of that. "Settle… what does that mean?"

Jet didn't look at him. "A last will and testament."

Spike's breath caught in his throat. Jet typed at the screen looking through his files for a connection number.

A new window came up, on an empty room. There was a flourish of orange hair and a young woman in her early twenties with golden eyes looked at them.

"Hello, what can I…" Her eye's flashed recognition. "Spike-person?!"

Spike blinked, this was Edward? She had… grown up. She looked, from what her could tell. Like a girl now. Not to shabby of one either.

"Edward," Jet broke through the scrutinizing silence. "We need you to find Faye."

"Where has Faye-Faye gone?"

"Something happened to Landis."  
            Edward looked from Jet to Spike and back.

"He knows, Edward."

"Oh." Edward nodded. "Edward will find Faye-Faye if Jet-person tells Edward what is going on and why no one was at Faye-Faye's house when Edward went to pick up Ein."

The familiar clicking sounds of the welsh corgis' foot steps came near. He had seemed to have been hiding the entire time they had been back in the ship Jet had forgotten about him.

"Ok Ed, you just track down Faye for us and I will tell you everything we know so far."

End of this chapter. Sorry It's lame and it took me so long but originally the next chapter was gonna be a part of this but it got to long and I got tiered. Ok then that's all for now bout 3 or 4 chapters left. If I get around to writing them.


	9. The poison still seeps

Hey Hey Hey! Like I said sorry about the length and the length of time it took me to get out the last one done. And sorry that it sucked I really wanted to get something out though and I was tired. Sorry.

For some responses to your reviews. I'm sorry if Faye is being a bitch. Strike that an uber-bitch. She will get better. I promise, well I promise nothing but I will try. Sorry if my last chapter seemed short it seemed like it was the same amount of pages as I usually do. I'm so glad you guys like the story. It helps me keep writing and all ways brings a smile to my face when I read your reviews. *Slaps self* SAP! DAMNIT!

**Chapter 9:** The poison still seeps

The little boy giggled as his mother and father pushed him higher on the swing. Letting the child take over they stood towards the side holding each other watching their son.

            Faye felt the small pangs of jealousy creep into her heart. Her son would never have that. A normal childhood. Despite everything she had tried to do for him. He still would never know what it was like to live a normal life. And it was all her fault. Anything she might have given him she was taking away now. No, not everything she was saving his life. Giving him a chance at another one. _ I hope you can forgive me_.

            She got up from the park bench smoothed out her gown and walked across the street to the Opera house. It was six already, she was late. Not that it mattered. 

*           *           *

            They had been waiting for three hours, it was almost six. What could have been taking Ed so long. 

            _Why did she have to go and do this?_ Just when he was starting to figure things out she was making it more difficult. It was so like her to just run off and not tell anyone. But he thought this time it would be different.

            _What do you think she would do? Come running to you helpless and in dire peril. She didn't even want you to know about the kid you think she wants you to help save him? You really are a Lunkhead._

            "Gee thanks." He whispered to himself.

            _Besides this is Faye she never asked for help until it was basically too late._

            "That's what I'm afraid of."

 He didn't like this feeling of helplessness. Spike got up and went to work out. He wanted to do something damnit. What the hell was taking Ed so long?

*           *           *

            She had waited in the booth until intermission. Then, finally, a young man in a long black jacket had come into the booth. He didn't say anything at first but once it was clearly intermission he cleared his throat. Faye stiffened slightly and turned around to look at him. She hadn't noticed it was intermission she hadn't been watching the Opera. She was watching her own, a story of a family a story that would never play out. She clenched her jaw. No she wouldn't cry not now, never.

            She glared at the boy, because that was what he looked like to her not much more then a mere boy.

            "He is waiting." Was all he said. Then he turned and knowing she would follow walked down the hall towards the restricted area of the theater. They walked through a series of hallways. Faye trying to remember which way they had come, but very quickly realizing that she had no idea.

            They finally came to a larger open room in the back. It was an old practice room that had been cleared out. The slick dance floor reflected her image almost as well as the mirrors along the side wall. The lights were dimmed and there were two standing candelabras on the far wall. He was sitting in between them on a red velvet high back chair. Two men came from the shadows behind her and grabbed her arms. Quickly running their hands over her body they did not find the familiar shape of a gun and canceled their search. Of course she didn't have a gun. 

"She's unarmed." The one on her left told Vicious.

"No gun." The other confirmed.

"Of course I don't have a gun. Mother's of seven year olds do not carry guns." _Daggers on the other hand_. 

Vicious waved his hand and they released her.

"Where's Landis?"

"So hasty." Vicious commented.

"We had a deal. I'm here so where's Landis. Cause if you hurt him I swear to God…"

"The boy is unharmed and quite safe I assure you."

"Where is he?"

"On his way."

She glared at him. She knew she held no cards. He had the upper hand in every situation. But that wasn't gonna stop her from acting like she knew what the hell was going on. A door opened behind him and she saw Landis' small form enter with the looming figure of his keeper behind him.

"Landis!" Strong arms kept her from running to him.

"Mommy!" He tried futilely to break free of the man behind him.

Vicious nodded and the men released them allowing them to run to each others embrace. Faye held her son so tightly she wanted him to be absorbed back into her body so that they could never harm him. She smoothed his hair down knowing that this could be the last time that she held him in her arms. She bit the inside of her lip. She would not cry, she would not. "I love you Landis."

"I love you too, mommy."

Arms were tugging at them now forcing them apart.

"No." Landis whined.

Faye felt him slip from her grasp.

"No, no mommy!" Landis called at her but was held back.

She reached he hand out for him but was pulled back. "Its ok, it'll be ok."

One of the men laying in the shadows behind Vicious stepped forward and handed him a comm. Which he plugged into an adaptor next to his chair. The screen on the front wall flashed to life.

Spike's face filling it. "What the hell do you think…" Spike stopped and looked at Faye. She stared back. Not sure how long she would be able to keep up her facade.

"It seems, that I have a habit of finding things that belong to you."

"Taking them." Spike shot back.

"Yes, an old friend taught me about taking things that belonged to other people."

Spike glared at Vicious. "Let her and the kid go. This isn't about them."

Vicious turned away from the screen. "Landis would you like to play a game?"

The boy made no move to answer.

Vicious stepped up to where Faye was being held.

"It's called 'Uncle'." Vicious grabbed Faye's hair snapping her head up. "I stop when she tells me what I want to hear." He ran his other hand up her leg and into the slit of her dress. Faye cringed at his touch.

Spike's blood boiled. "Get your hand off her!"

Vicious' hand came back out from her dress with her dagger from her thigh sheath. The eyes of the guards that had checked her went wide and they tried to get away but the knife still landed in the back of the one who had said she was unarmed first.

Turning his attention back to Faye he punched her in the stomach. She doubled causing his grip on her hair to become tighter. Moving his hands he threw her against the mirrored wall. He had a new dagger in his hand and it was pressed neatly against her throat.

"Mommy, no!" Landis Screamed fighting his captor. "Let her go!"

Vicious stared at Faye. "You want it to stop? It's simple all you have to do is call out for him. Just say his name and it ends."

Fury filled Faye's eyes.

"Damnit." Spike said. _Her pride.__ He was challenging her pride. The one thing she would never let go of. _Come on Faye, just this once_. His mind pleaded with her._

"Go to hell." She sneered at Vicious. A small smile played across his face and he back handed her sending her to the floor.

"As I expected." He kicked her hunched form. She recoiled, but stood shakily. Spitting the blood from her mouth on him; challenging him to the last.

            His eyes flashed with anger. The stubbornness he had counted on was making this more difficult then he had wanted. He threw Faye against the wall again motioning to two of his men to hold her there.

            "You whore." Vicious grabbed at her right arm and held it out straight; keeping it from bending by placing the tip of his knife in the crux of her elbow. He looked down at her arm. That same smile on his face as her saw the small scar along her wrist; running from the bottom of her palm up two inches of her arm.

            Faye looked away ashamed.

            He traced the knife down her arm leaving a small trail of red as he traveled down towards her palm. Faye screamed as she felt the old scar slit open.

            "Say it!" Vicious yelled slamming her head against the wall.

            Her eyes started to roll back in her head. "No." She said her voice ragged.

            "Damn your pride Faye!" Spike yelled from the monitor. _Spike_. She had almost forgotten that he had been watching. It hurt so much.

            Every inch of her hurt so incredibly much. His eyes from the screen were boring into hers. He was looking at her soul again. She could feel herself cracking.

            "Sp…" She stopped herself. She had almost said it. She had almost admitted…

            Her eyes fell closed and her body went limp. She sagged down a little leaving a red smear along the mirror from her head. Vicious' men picked her up and carried her from the room followed by the man dragging along Landis.

            Vicious turned to Spike who was glaring daggers at him. Wiping the blood and spit off his face he looked at him.

            "So you see the Climax is almost here we just await your arrival." Vicious turned away from the screen and began to walk away, but stopped himself. Looking over his shoulder at Spike he said. "Oh and hurry. I don't believe I've finished with that lovely woman yet." He smirked his namesake. Viciously.

            "If you do anything to her I swear to God Vicious I'll…"

            "What? Kill me? I was planning on it."

            Vicious turned off the screen and left the room. There was one more way that he could hurt Spike and though his last experience hadn't been as fulfilling as he had hoped this next one was going to do it for him no matter how it went. He would have to wait a while, give her a few hours to get back her strength it was always better when they struggled.

*           *           *

            Jet ran in the room when he heard the large cracking sound. A very pissed off looking Spike stood over the now two pieced coffee table. 

            Before Jet could ask the screen flashed the call. Jet carefully walked past Spike and picked up the screen. He hit the accept button.

            "Ed found her!" Ed's voice rang through the room. Spike snapped out of his fury and looked at the screen. "She's at the Mars Metropolitan Opera."

            "Now Spike don't go…." He turned to look at Spike only to find empty air. "running off."

            Spike was in his room loading up on whatever he could carry. Grenades, extra clips, and two handguns tucked nicely into the back of his pants. It only took him a moment before he was in the Swordfish II and gone. It would take him a few hours to reach Mars.

            He didn't want to think but he did anyway. All about her. Everything he knew and didn't know of her. When he had been unconscious things would float through his mind. Memories, Dreams. She had been there. A lot. He hadn't realized it. He hadn't thought about it. But seeing her again. Seeing her there in front of him; holding her in his arms had made him remember. Made him find things that he never knew he had. And he didn't want to lose them. Or her.

*           *           *

            She wasn't sure how long she had been unconscious. She tried to open her eyes but it hurt. Her face had started to swell where Vicious had backhanded her. She force her eyes open. She was in an old dressing room handcuffed to the small bed in the back of the room. The metal of the handcuff bore into her left wrist. Her right arm lay weakly at her side. The cut was crusty with blood but no longer bleeding. It hadn't been very deep. More for the sake of pain then of doing any real damage. She fought to sit up every bit of her aching body fighting against her. But in the end she won. Then feeling the wave of nausea she wondered if it had been worth it.

            There was a window on the wall above her. She could see the night pouring in the room from it. The starlight leaving its muted viewing. It was almost magical. So pure and heavenly.

            The door flew open rushing the electrical unholy light into the room eating at the pure light.

            Vicious walked in followed by Landis and his ever present shadow. They closed the door allowing the night to retake the room. But this time it was swallowed by the blackness that was Vicious. She glared at him and he looked at her in a way that made her feel very exposed in her dress. She shivered.

            "Its time for round two." He said walking closer to her. "Same rules. Only the situation is… different." He grabbed the right strap of her evening gown and ripped it down nearly exposing her breast.

            Realization flooded Faye's Face. He was going to rape her. 

Right in front of her son.

She found the all the strength she could and punched Vicious in the face as he leaned over her. His head snapped back and he licked at the trickle of blood coming from his mouth. He grabbed her arm roughly making sure he squeezed the cut and pressed it to the bed next to her head. She gritted her teeth against the pain. Seeing her fight the urge to cry out he slapped her across her bruised face. Sending a cry from her lips.

"Mom!" Landis bit the arm of his captor and pulled himself free. He ran to his mother and grabbed her outstretched hand. "Look for your angel, it will protect you." He told her before Vicious' hand drove him into the wall next to the bed. His body slumped to the floor unconscious. Faye felt the worry in her body grow. _It's__ better this way, he wont have to see. His words stuck in her mind, her angel…_

Vicious glared at the man who had been holding Landis and the man quickly got the hint that he wasn't wanted or needed and left the room.

Vicious' hand tore off the bottom of her dress and he ran his knife along the inside of her thigh. Then as he moved to straddle her he tried to spread her legs apart with his own. When she fought him he kneed her in the crotch forcing his leg between hers. He cut open the side of her dress most of the way up his hand sliding inside the fabric to find her breasts.

She felt nauseous again. She had to block this. Think of something else. Her Angel coming to rescue her. Coming to take her and Landis away, to take care of them. Her guardian angel… it came out as a breath.

"Spike."  


	10. I thought I could do it by myself, that’...

Hehehe Being Evil is Soooooo fun. I'm sorry If I made Faye seem dumb but it had to happen to move the plot along. Oh and yes Faye _Shouldn't__ get raped by Vicious but not everything that should happen does and not everything that shouldn't doesn't. The 'game' that Vicious was playing was 'uncle' well that's what I call it I don't know its name. It's where you keep beating up the person or in the more realistic case fighting with them until they say 'uncle' saying that they give up. So the whole thing with Vicious cutting her arm was just to do something else to hurt her and make her give up and say. See in my version though he wanted her to say Spike's name, and in essence admit that she needed him to save her. _

            On a happier note. YAHWHOO!!! I'm done with finals I am FREE!!!! And it looks like it's gonna thunderstorm, kick ass this day keeps getting better.

            My pen name is, my name, well my full nickname though most people just call me Tiffo. But Tiffo the Chicken flea is my full name. That I was given. My two friends that gave it to me are Embee the aphid and Lilly the maggot. And when you are writing me you don't need to worry about spelling mistakes I have so many mistakes in my story I'm surprised people read it.

            Why? and I quote "i'm also wonderin y vicious is doin dat to them u know?" Why? Do we need another reason other then the fact that he is Vicious and EVIL! (Not that evil is bad I am evil and I kick ass) Oh and just so everyone knows I looked it up and I did not see the words "dat" or "da" in the dictionary. I am sometimes quite frightened by these reviews. Oh and there is such a letter as "g". Sorry I am such a bitch it just seeps out sometimes.

Ahem. I own nothing. I am poor. Please send money to the help feed the poor Tiffo student fund. Dorm room food is bad. And the ramen haunts my dreams. Or if you own Bebop send Spike that works for me too! ^_^ I got free time now. 

            Oh and when did I become a home fry? 0_0*

            Sorry this took so long my May Term class has had me rewriting fairy tales and as fun as that is its time consuming. Got to write Beauty and the beast now. I guess I would help if I didn't start at 3 am the night before.

**Chapter 10:** I thought I could do it by myself, that's why I need you so.

            Vicious ripped down Faye's underwear running his hand over what he had just exposed. Revenge fueled lust allowing him to be instantly aroused. He looked down at his prey, but she looked through him. Eyes glazed over; she wasn't there any longer she had hidden in the back of her mind. Vicious felt his anger rise. She was ruining everything, this wasn't any fun if they didn't struggle. This was his revenge and she was souring the taste.

            "Scream," he told her stabbing the dagger into her right thigh. She gave no response; he moved to the left when suddenly her voice came, no more then a breath of air, but still there.

            "Spike." She whispered a small streak of light running from her eye. 

            Vicious stopped unzipping his pants. _She, she had said it. She had given in. She wasn't supposed to..._ Vicious smiled. He had broken her. She said the safety word. He was supposed to stop.

*           *           *

            _This was too God damn easy._  Spike walked through the now empty Opera house, he didn't like it this quiet he liked it better before. Charging in guns raised, bullets flying, shit exploding every ware. It had been kill and be killed but this time it was different. He couldn't just go in and kill until he died; he had to get Faye and Landis out. 

            The halls were poorly lit, it was fitting for Vicious. He had no idea where the hell he was going but he just kept going knowing that sooner or later he would find them or they would find him. A bullet whizzed past his face striking the wall next to him. He quickly rolled out of the way hiding from the view of the hallway. Taking a quick glance around the corner he saw that there were three of them coming. _Finally_. It only took one grenade to stop them. It was somewhat disappointing. They would come in spurts all taking crappy shots missing him by miles. Then he would blow them up or shoot them (if he did that they started shooting back much closer.) It was a waste really they were dying for nothing. They weren't even fighting they were just trying to corral him. 

            Another bullet whipped by his face this one only missing because of a quick doge on his part. _Ahh__._ It seems he didn't go down the hall they wanted him to. He fired a few rounds around the corner not expecting to hit anything. But to his surprise he heard a ripping sound and a sharp intake of breath. Peeking around he saw the guard pressing a hand to his leg and unsteadily holding up the gun with the other. One quick shot to the head put him out of his misery. 

            _And now for a bit of deductive reasoning.__ They were trying to push me the other way, they all missed me terribly except this guy. So if I was hiding something, where would I put it? He reached for the handle and found another surprise, it wasn't locked. The room was dark; only the pale moonlight streaming in from the open window tried to give the room light. He closed the door quickly behind him allowing his eyes to adjust to the dark. There were two figures to the back left of the room. The small figure of a child was slumped against the wall next to a bed. A bed that held the other larger figure. Spike quickly crossed to Faye; her back was to him and she was tightly curled in the fetal position. _

            "Faye?" He whispered quietly. "Faye?" He repeated gently touching her shoulder causing a small scream from Faye. He quickly placed his hand over her mouth. _If they heard her and came to check…This only caused her to scream more. So he flipped her onto her back and stared intently into her eyes. Yelling with his eyes for her to shut up. She looked up at him and her eyes changed, he couldn't see what they had just been but it suddenly changed to a free look, a look of pure hope. Spike had the urge to grab her up into his arms. But then her eyes changed again, to fear, and pain. A look of shame and violation. And this look; it ripped his heart from his body. He could feel it slowly dyeing on the floor._

            He looked at her. All of her. The cuts, the bruises, the ripped gown. He… he felt…conflicted. He wanted to cut Vicious into tiny little pieces but at the same time he wanted to take Faye carry her away and make it so it never happened. He touched her shoulder and she flinched away. The shame and disgust growing in her eyes.

            "Faye." Her face was red and swollen from crying, but no tears came now. 

            "Don't touch me." Her voice was forced but strong.

            "Faye." He couldn't say any thing, he needed to say something. What do you say to someone who was… he couldn't think about it. It was all his fault. He should have come sooner, should have stopped her, hell if he hadn't slept with her none of this would have happened. "Faye please."

            She looked up at him. She longed for him to hold her, to tell her it was all over now. Yet at the same time his touch both terrified and repulsed her. She felt so dirty; her broken and battered body hummed with hatred for herself. She felt hollow. Used. Disposed. 

            "Just let me die." She looked away from him unable to bear him being so near and yet so far from reach. 

"No Faye." He pulled her up holding her tightly. She shook, her body's reaction of fear and pain. She tried to move away but he was too strong for her normally so now he hardly noticed it. He was going to hold her until it stopped. Until she let it seep away. Until she realized how much he loved and needed her.

It was almost unbearable. Every inch of her body shuddered with repulsion. Yet every bit of her soul begged him to hold her tighter. In the end her soul won, to her unbounded happiness. With her free hand she grabbed hold of his upper arm burying her face deeper into him. He placed his hand on the back of her head and held her closer.

"Oh God Faye…"

Her voice came through his arm. "Shut up you stupid lunkhead."

He gave a small laugh. _Same old Faye_. He knew she was hurt, emotionally, physically; but he knew that she would fight it off and that he was there to help.

He ran his hand through her hair breaking it apart where it was stuck together with blood. She looked up and he brought their faces together their lips nearly brushing. He allowed the gap to close softly, he didn't want to push her. 

She could feel something growing in the dark hollow that had become her. A light.

She pushed back slightly allowing the kiss to become more of a true kiss. It was simple and pure; slow and lingering along the edges of their lips. Spike lifted his head, his body yelled for more but he knew she couldn't take much more. She was so fragile in his large hands; so easily broken. She was already cracked and he needed to let her heal not put more pressure on it. And he had the time; he had all the time in the world because he knew he would never leave her. 

"Let's get you and Landis out of here."

*           *           *

            The monitor flashed in front of Jet. Spike looked up at him. Jet almost jumped up from his seat.

            "Spike. Where are you? Are you there? Did you find her? Is she ok? Is Landis ok? I'll be there in half an hour. What happen to your face?"

            Spike raised a hand to his face and found that the bullet that had 'whipped past his face' apparently had been closer then he thought. There was a small gash along his jaw and now that he thought about it it began to sting.

            "Where's Faye?" Jet asked. "Did you find Faye?"

            "Yes she's here."

            "Put her on." Spike looked over at Faye but she shook her head covering her face with her hands.

            He looked back at Jet. "Can you give us ten minuets to get out of here and then call the cops?"

            "Sure thing." He paused and Spike was about to break the connection. "Oh and Spike. I want you all coming back. No bull headedness, promise me, you just try to get the hell out of there."

            Spike didn't like what Jet was implying. It was different this time, he was different. He had died enough times he didn't want to do it again.

            "That's a promise Jet." He switched off the phone.

            Faye had moved herself off the bed and was sitting on the floor gently cradling Landis' unconscious form. She was slowly rocking back and forth humming some unknown tune running her fingers over her son's face._ She's still off key_, Spike noted but kept it to himself. 

*           *           *

            Faye stood in the waiting room rocking the small baby back and forth in her arms humming softly. She had heard the foot steps approach and then stopped suddenly. She turned smiling warmly as a very very shocked Jet stared back at her. He opened and closed his mouth words unable to file out. _He looks like a fish out of water, Faye thought and smiled wider. She wasn't sure why she was so smiley maybe it was because she hadn't seen Jet in so long. Still though the old Faye would never smile like this. __I'm not the old Faye. She reminded herself looking down at her son. _I have a new life_. For some reason just looking at him made her insanely happy and brought a cement smile to her face. Still sometimes it would hurt to look at him too; this precious life a constant reminder of what and who she had lost and given up._

            Jet finally found his words. "Faye…" Sort of.

           "Jet", she beamed. For some reason his reaction only made her feel better. It was amusing for him to be so confused. _Just wait_. She thought.

            "Faye you…you look different."

            Faye smiled again and put Landis in his stroller. She looked back at Jet. She was in jeans and a dark blue top with a burgundy sweater tied around her waist. "Well it's kind of hard to keep up the sex appeal with a kid slobbering allover you."

            "It's your kid then."

            "No Jet I rented him just to freak you out." She stared at him.

            "Ha ha, funny Faye. How? When? You've only been gone a little over a year. When did you mange to have a kid?"

            Faye blushed slightly. She wasn't sure why. Landis began to fuss and Faye returned him to his spot in her arms.

            "What's his name? Jet asked. Putting and outstretched finger in playing range.

            "Landis." The boy wrapped his tiny fingers around Jet's large one. Jet looked up at Faye, she knew he was waiting for a last name. A hit to see if he knew the father. "Valentine." Faye finished.

            Jet turned his attention back to the babe. Large piercing brown eyes looked at him. For some reason he felt that he knew those eyes. Upon closer examination of his face he noticed a small tuft of hair coming out from under the baby cap. His eyes widened and he pulled of the knit cap. Faye let out a small cry of shock at Jet's sudden movements. But she wasn't scared; she had expected and wanted him to know the truth. He would have to know.

            "Holy shit Faye." 

Jet just kept staring at the baby. Faye felt suddenly uncomfortable and moved away to sit in one of the chairs. Jet followed her still staring. He sat across from her lighting up.

            "Please don't smoke in front of the baby." She asked trying somewhat to change the subject.

            Jet laughed. "This stuff should be like air to that kid. Considering…"

            Faye raised an eyebrow. "Considering what?" She didn't sound very pleased.

            Jet blinked a moment. _So this was a touchy subject. Ok. "Nothing."_

            "Besides," she said her voice calming, "aren't you not supposed to smoke in hospitals."

            Jet grumbled a second and smashed out the lit stick on the table. He rubbed his temple with his false arm. He looked up at her looked down, up again, and down. Finally still looking down he said. "Ok, I don't really want to ask this; but I just can't figure it out. I mean you hated… I mean you took it hard so I knew you didn't hate him but I didn't know you guys were…"

            "We weren't."

            Jet blinked again. "Then how?"

            "It was an accident." She whispered the end pushing Landis slightly away as if to block him from the truth of his conception. 

            "No shit."

            Faye stared at him. Slightly hurt with his crude out burst that was so unlike him.

            "I'm sorry Faye, that was… inappropriate."

            "It's ok." Her chest was beginning to hurt. She had been working on blocking some of these memories. "We were…" She couldn't look at him anymore, she felt embarrassment, pain and mostly shame blooming on her face. "We were drunk." She blinked back the tears. _This wasn't fair_. "And then he, he left, and I didn't know and I didn't…" She looked up to Jet wet streaks running down her face. "I didn't stop him. I didn't get to say good-bye."

            "Faye." Jet put his hand on her shoulder. Then he slightly chucked to himself. "Spike's gonna freak when he wakes up." Faye looked up at him quickly.

            "He's not gonna know."

            "Well of course he's gonna know it obvious and the kid's only gonna look more like him."

            Faye shook her head. "He's not gonna see him. And you're not going to tell him."

            "Faye he's…"

            "Not going to hurt my son the way he hurt me." Faye cut him off.

            "You don't know he'll do that."

            "What do you think he's going to do? Marry me? Have us settle down in a cozy little house? This is Spike we are talking about. He's not exactly domestic material."

            "Oh and you are?" Jet asked scenically. "I never would have pictured you as the mother type but you seemed to have adjusted."

            "You seemed to have forgotten one thing. It's me Faye, and that's Spike. Incase you have forgotten that man doesn't love me. He hates me." Fresh tears sprang from her eyes.

            Jet stared at her for a moment then a revelation hit him. "But you love him."

            Faye stifled a sob.

            He held her in a lose hug. "Alright I won't tell him. Not until you're ready."

*           *           *

            Spike watched as Faye tried to pick Landis up; the cuts on her arm and the one in her leg causing her to waver and almost fall, had Spike not caught her. Helping her to steady herself Spike easily lifted the boy from her arms and held him against his own chest and shoulder.  Faye had to bite her lip to keep her emotions in check. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. It would mean nothing to anyone else but to her it was almost surreal.

*           *           *

            Faye and Jet watched the two year old Landis play on the floor. Jet smiled softly and looked back up at Faye his face becoming more serious.

            "This isn't one of my pop-in visits."

            Faye looked at him slightly confused.

            He looked at the coffee table for a moment then back at Faye.

            "Spike's awake." Faye jumped slightly but fought not to show any emotion. "He's on the ship." Faye's expression changed to one of unconcern. She brushed some hair behind her ear. And looked back at Landis.

            "Yeah so." Her voice was as unconcerned as she wished she felt.

            "So I think you should tell him."

            She glared at him.

            "Faye."

            Faye picked up the coffee cups and walked towards the kitchen. She could hear Jet get up and follow her. "We are not discussing this."

            "Come on Faye, he should know. It just doesn't feel right not telling him."

            "You promised me Jet."

            "I know and I won't break that promise Faye but I really think that you should tell him."

            She reeled on him. "Tell him, tell him and what should I tell that little boy in the other room. 'This is your father, but he hates me so you'll never see him.'"

            "Faye stop being irrational. Now I know you want to see him."

            "What the hell would I want to see him for?"

            Jet stared at her. "You want to see him. God Damnit you look for him every time you look at Landis. Heal yourself Faye talk to him get this off your shoulders."

            "No. I wouldn't be able to bare him looking at me after he knew. I saw pity in those eyes once I never want to see it again."

            "Faye."

            "I said no! Please Jet you don't visit often don't do this."


	11. Never lost, Ever free

Ta da! I'm happy with all the reviews you guys have been sending me. I'm glad you guys liked the last chapie I didn't really like the way it was working and I had to keep going over it. For some reason it was being really hard to write.

            Sorry I have been taking so long I've been working on stories for my may term class. And packing up cause school ends and I move out on wed and sat. I can't believe I only have a week left and then just my senior year and I'm out of here. And on to collage. Yippy!

            Sorry again I was hoping to have this done before I moved out but that didn't seem to want to happen so I have been moving back into my house from school for the past couple of days. And my computer has yet to be hooked up to the net.

            Well Lady's and Gents here you have it. The last chapter! Gasp! There will be an epilogue though. Yeah so I wrote this ending along time ago. At lest a month, I had it on notebook paper and I kept rereading it cause it is my favorite part and I am a freak.

            By the way I don't own Bebop or Evanescence's song 'My Last breath' I just really really like them both.

            PS. I did some work on the other parts of this story so I hope to have corrected versions with some bonus material in some of them in a few days. Like I said I don't have the net on my computer yet so I have to wait to put them on disk and put them on my mom's computer which is hooked up.

PPS. No one kill me please. I'm sorry. (If you're wondering why, just wait you'll know and if you still 

don't then I know I'm safe from you.)

**Chapter 11:** Never lost, Ever free

            They walked along the dark paths of the hallway. Spike carried Landis and Faye struggled to carry herself and the small gun she had gotten off the dead guard in front of her room. She was so tired, when this was over she just wanted to sleep for days. She tried looking around but had no idea where she was and what way was out. So she just followed Spike blindly hoping that he might have more of a sense of direction. Finally choosing a door Spike had led them back to the room where she had been lead before to meet Vicious. The room was even darker with only its candles lighting it. Faye reached forward and grabbed Spike's arm both to get his attention and to help steady herself.

            "That door over there." She nodded towards it. "That's how I came in." He looked at her and nodded before continuing on towards the door. Faye kept her hand on his arm not liking the cold chill this room gave her. They had almost crossed the room.

            "Well isn't this a quaint picture." His voice made her blood freeze in her veins. Spike felt his blood begin to rise.

            They turned to face him each fighting back their overwhelming emotions. They wanted to run though each in a different direction. Faye wanted to get away and Spike wanted to run over and rip out Vicious' frozen heart. Faye's hand clenched Spike tighter of its own accord. They probably could have looked very 'quaint' at that moment. Faye's hand on Spike's arm him holding their sleeping son. It _could have been quaint if they didn't have blood allover them and if the situation had been different. But no they were here and things didn't look quaint they looked a lot shittier then they had a few moments earlier._

             Faye felt Spike shifting and almost fell over as Landis' weight was rested in her arms. She looked up at Spike his face was hard-set.

            "No Spike." She was pleading with him again. And again he wasn't listening; he didn't even look at her. "Not again." She said more to herself. He took out his gun and held it loosely in his hand. She could feel herself backing up when all she really wanted to do was throw herself on him and stop him from doing this again. 

            Vicious slid his katana from its sheath. It glowed with fire in the reflecting candle light. They walked slowly towards each other. Each with their weapon raised. It was only a flash. They ran for each other Spike shot but Vicious moved his gun with the sword. 

            "Remember Spike we still have to set each other free." Vicious said through gritted teeth. _This is just like before, Spike thought. It was all happening allover again._

They pushed against each other and flew apart Vicious quickly throwing his weight to catch a small slice of Spike's leg Spike responded with a mirroring shot to Vicious' own leg as he stumbled backwards. Vicious wasted no time as Spike fought to right himself he came at him swinging his blade in a death blow for his chest. Spike caught himself just in time to scoot back though not enough. He shut his eyes in anticipation. He heard a shot, the sharp bite of the sword connected with his chest, but to his surprise it did not dig deep only scratching through his flesh. He opened his eyes to see Vicious stumbling back his shoulder a bloody mess. Faye stood by the mirrored wall smoke still trailing from her gun. 

She had just gotten Spike back she wasn't going to lose him again not for some God damn male pride thing. And she didn't care if Spike was pissed she just wanted to get the hell out of here. 

Spiked looked at Faye, _Man she looks pissed. I'm glad she's on my side. Wait that's it. That's the difference_. This time he wasn't alone; he had forgotten that. He turned back to Vicious who looked somewhat shocked.

"No Vicious."

Confusion passed through Vicious' features as Spike raised his gun.

"I am Free." Spike reached out and grabbed Faye's hands removing them from the gun they held. Letting it fall to the ground. The thud of the gun was followed by the quick echo of Spike's gun firing.

Blood seeped from the corner of Vicious' mouth as he fell to a kneel clutching his middle. Spike allowed himself to slouch partially giving into the pain of his injuries. Faye stood next to him in shock. He had chosen her over his past. The one thing she thought she would always dwell in the shadow of. He chose a future, and her. She watched him knowing that whether or not he wanted it she was going to help him out of this nightmare. She squeezed his hand tighter to her own she needed to feel that he was still real that this was all truly happening. She lifted her other hand to his arm and he was, as always, warm to the touch and so soothing to feel. She held tightly to his arm. Making sure that her fingers would not suddenly slip through his smooth flesh.

He shuddered slightly at her cool touch and their eyes met. He could see her, all of her, all that she had been all that she had become. He could see her as a young girl running to the open arms of her family. Hear her as she moaned softly when he had her pressed against the wall. Feel her hand as she stopped him from entering her house on that fateful day. He could see her hopes her fears. Her greatest fear, the one she had fought for so long her fear of waking up as she did that first day. Alone. He wanted to tell her that she didn't have to fear that he would never leave her; that she would never be alone again. Only he couldn't get the words to come out of his mouth. Of all the times for his inability to communicate to flare up. He took her chin in his hand, It was then that he saw the glint but it was too late.

She felt like she was drowning in a pool of warmth. His eyes that had always refused to tell her anything were open, they were open so freely. He looked like he was conflicting with saying something but he didn't have to his eyes told her everything; she would never be alone again. He held her face bringing it towards his own when suddenly his eyes flashed with warning and she felt the blade. 

Spike didn't have to think he just shot Vicious through the throat. Throwing him unmoving to the ground; Faye's hands slipped from Spike as the tip of the katana smashed through her chest. The world slowed to a crawl and she starred through him shock and pain flowing through her eyes. She took in a breath trying to speak but only small wheezing sounds came from her lips. Clumsily she reached out for him. He grabbed her arms but instead of pulling her to him like she had wanted he walked behind her. He gripped her arm bracing himself as much as her for his next move. He moved quickly pulling out the sword and ready to catch her as her knees gave out. He eased her to the floor and ripped off parts of his jacket to make a makeshift bandage for her wounds. _She has lost so much blood already.__ Hold on Faye._

_Hold on to me love_

_You know I can't stay long_

            Faye clutched at Spike's arms. Feeling what bit of her life was left pouring out of the holes in her body. She tried to speak but still it proved too difficult.

_All I wanted to say was 'I love you' and 'I'm not afraid'_

_Do you hear me?_

_Can you feel me in your arms?_

            She continued trying; her mind screaming. _ Spike! Spike please, hold me tighter don't let me go I'm slipping. I can't feel you, I'm losing you, can you feel me?_

_Holding my last breath_

_Safe inside myself_

_Are all my thoughts of you_

_Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

            She put her hand to his face. She could see the pain in his face in his eyes, both of them. Faye could feel the tears forming in her eyes and for once she was not ashamed or angry when they freed themselves from her eyes. She knew that she should have been scared. That she should have feared this end. She would miss things, yes. It wasn't fair, of this she was certain. But afraid. Afraid was something she was not she had too many other things on her mind to be afraid.

            "Don't worry Faye you'll be all right." He told her. She tried to smile at him.

_I'll miss the winter_

_A world of fragile things_

_Look for me in the white forest_

_Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)_

            She would never see Landis grow up. Watch him play baseball again. See him get his 5th degree black belt. She wouldn't be around to fight with him when he became a teenager,_ and what arguments they would be. She'd never see him go on a date, or get married. She would never hold her grandchildren in her arms. And Spike, the man that had brought new meaning to her life in more ways then one. The only man she had ever truly loved. She fought against the pool of blood that was filling her throat trying so hard to speak. Spike moved his hand from her chest and helped her to lift her head allowing some of the blood to drain out. She saw him flinch at this._

            "Don't worry Faye you'll be ok." He repeated more for himself this time.

            "Spike." She gargled out a whisper.

            "Don't talk." He smoothed her hair. "Jet should have called the police by now and someone is coming."

            "Spike."

            "Shhh." He wiped at the blood on the corner of her mouth causing her to cough up more.

            It was getting harder to breath if she didn't get it out soon she never would.

            "Spike I…" She coughed again and he lifted her head higher.

            They locked eyes. She saw that the final barrier of his eyes had been broken; hot tears flowed down his face running past her fingers and leaving them incased in warm liquid. They rolled to his chin where they collected and fell onto her lips.

_I know you hear me_

_I can taste it in your tears_

_Holding my last breath _

_Safe inside myself_

_Are all my thoughts of you _

_Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

            Faye wiped at the tears on his face and he grabbed her hand holding it to him. She realized that now she had seen all of him. After all this time of hiding he was exposed. Exposed to her as she had always felt to him. Her heart ached with this new wave of love that she was experiencing. _Why does it have to end? It's just not fair_.

            "Spike…Landis."

            He stared at her.

            "You need to…" she was forced to pause and try to find a breath that quickly seeped away from her. "Take care…"

            "No Faye."

            "When I'm…"

            "No, Faye don't even say it. Your going to be fine just stop, don't even think it. Besides you know I wouldn't know the first thing about taking care of a kid. So I know you won't leave me here you don't trust me enough." Spike tried to lighten the mood hoping to ease both their pains. And to change from this unthinkable subject, but Faye would have none of it.

            "Promise."

            "Stop it Faye." His voice cracked slightly with pain.

            She coughed again pleading with her eyes. "Please."

            He couldn't answer the lump in his dry throat refused to budge, but slowly painfully slowly he nodded the tears balancing on his eyes again.

_Closing your eyes to disappear_

_You pray your dreams will leave you here_

_But still you wake and know the truth_

_No ones there_

            Her eyes thanked him. He couldn't bare to look at her, not like this. _Please God, or whoever. Not like this. I can't do this not again, this can't be happening again. Julia's words came to him. 'Its all a dream isn't it.' Yes, that's what this was, a dream a bad dream soon he would wake and Faye would be ok and everything would be back to normal._

            "It's a dream." He whispered to himself. "This isn't happening."

            "No Spike." Her voice broke his meditation. "Don't run from this."

            He opened his eyes and looked at her again.

            "You're not dreaming." She gargled and coughed again.

            He was awake. He was awake. He had woken up and found the vary thing he, like Faye, had been running from. He was alone. He had slept away his chance, his chance to be with her. He'd been lost for so long in his dream world. No, it couldn't… it couldn't belike this. _Please no, his mind screamed,__ don't go, don't leave me here._

_Say goodnight_

_Don't be afraid_

            "Faye don't leave me here alone."

            She tried to smile but only succeeded in coughing up blood.

            "I'm not going any ware," she breathed deeply causing a small bubbling sound. "I waited for you too long Spike Spiegel to just let you slip away from me." She let her words comfort him for a moment before she continued. "I may not be here, but I will always be here."  Using what little strength she had left she brought her lips to his. The metallic and salty taste of blood and tears mixing in their mouths. He held her head up to his own wishing the moment never to end.

            Their lips parted and Faye's lids drooped closer to shut.

            "Faye, no!"

_Calling me_

_Calling me_

_As you fade to black_

            "Faye! Faye!" Her hand began to slip from him but he held it there with his own.

            "Spike." Her voice was no more then soft breath. Her body fought the release of precious air, but she had to say it she knew it was the only thing that would give her peace. "Spike, I love you."

            He leaned over and held his face to hers.

            "I love you Faye."

_Say goodnight_

_Holding my last breath_

_Safe inside myself_

_Holding_

_Are all my thoughts of you_

_Calling me Calling me _

_Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

Her heart felt lifted, she was free. She had told him. Her eyes fluttered shut.

            "FAYE!"

You're gonna carry that weight…

End.

Sorry. Sorry. Eep don't hurt me. There will be an epilogue but I don't know how long it will take me to do with me still moving in and unpacking and trying to get a job and not having the net in here yet.


	12. Epilogue

Sumimasen. I'm sorry but I can't say that I didn't warn you I said I was evil. And no body gets happily ever after no matter what the story books say. You have no idea how much I didn't want that to happen but it had to I can't control it. But what really happened is for you to decide.

Sorry this is taking so long being home is making me Lazy. But now I just got back from taking the SAT so I feel like writing yay! Writing: story:: SAT: tiffo's death 

**Sorry again, there have been many problems, problems with Fan fic.net, problems with them switching my Internet line and us losing it for about a day, and then the whole going on vacation for a week.**

I'm gonna put more comments and the response to reviews at the end.

I don't own Bebop or "Hello" By Evanescence(obviously if I said that they did it.)

**Epilogue:** Untitled

_Playground school bell rings. _

_Again.___

_Rain clouds come to play._

_Again._

            The mass exodus of children flowed towards Spike. In the crowd he could see a green head sticking up over many of his class mates'. Landis waved and came towards them. Spike smiled down at Faye who mirrored his action.

            "Mom can I go play for a few minuets?"

            "I don't know we were going over to uncle Jet's later remember."

            "Mom please." Landis drew out his please into a large smile.

            "You'd have to ask your father."

            "Dad?" Landis moved his large grin to Spike.

            "Five minuets. Don't get too dirty."

            "YES!" Landis dropped his backpack and ran towards the playground.

            Spike and Faye walked to a bench and sat watching the children clamber over every inch of the play area. Spike held a dark look in his eye. Like a storm hanging just over him.

            "Spike."

            Spike blinked away the clouds. "Huh, yeah."

            "It only makes it worse the more you think about it."

            "How…"

            "Can't we just enjoy this for the moment. Don't think to hard. You might hurt yourself." She smiled coyly at him. He smiled back but it was with out feeling. He was preoccupied with his thoughts again.

            _I'm being stupid for making this so hard, why can't I just do it?_

            "I don't know. I've been wondering that myself." Faye smiled wider at him.

            "What the… how did you know…"

            Faye's smile faded and her face grew stern.

            "It's alright you know."

            He looked into her eyes painful questions burning through his mind.

            "It's not a bad thing."

            "Normally, but I'm…"

            "His father so you shouldn't be afraid of getting close to him. Of loving him."

            "But, everyone I loved… they got… hurt…I just… Julia …and you…"

            "Shhh. You know what they say third time's the charm."

            "Faye."

            "I'm serious Spike."

            "I know and I'm trying; it's just kinda, weird, I guess. I just need to get used to it."

            "I know, your doing great; but just remember Landis needs you now so please for both your sakes. Open that frigid ice box you call a heart and let him in."

            "Gee thanks." Spike said looking back to the playground.

            Her cold fingers came to his face ever so lightly. He turned back to her.

            "Please Spike."

            Spike lifted his hand to where hers was on his face only to find that it passed right through hers to his own cheek.

_Has no one told you she's not breathing? _

            His eyes widened. "No Faye." 

"I'm sorry Spike." She smiled softly as her image began to dissolve and scatter in the wind. 

"Not yet!" He watched her fade away. "Faye!"

            Spike's shout jarred him from his sleep on the couch. He clutched at the edge of the couch a glisten of sweat gripping his clothes to him. The dampness causing him to shiver in the cool air of the ship. At least he wanted to think it was the wetness and cool air. 

_Hello._

_I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to._

_Hello._

"Go away." Spike told encroaching thoughts that tried to find their way into his conscious from deeper inside his mind. He stood slowly rotating his shoulders and neck. He was getting too old to sleep on the couch.

            The ship was so quiet a gentle purr of an engine, a soft creak every now and again. It was so different from before when you couldn't get a moments rest. Same circumstances and still so different. There was still a dog and a kid there was… Oh. Ok so some of the circumstances were different. It was just amazing how much it could change. And how fast. He could hear the soft sounds of sheets moving and quiet noises of discomfort coming from Faye's room. 

            He was already in the doorway when Landis' nightmare woke him in a flurry of sheets and a lost call of "Mommy!" Spike crouched next to the frightened boy. And two pairs of identical eyes met. Only three were the same color but they all held a lost look that made them slightly hollow like they absorbed light rather then reflected it.

            "Hey." Spike whispered to him. He moved his hand to brush down some of the boy's tangled locks.

            Landis looked at him with pain filled eyes and chewed on his bottom lip fighting with the emotions inside him. _Just like Faye,_ Spike thought to himself. "You have a bad dream?"

            Landis nodded.

            "Don't worry its over now."

            "I want my mom." Landis grabbed Spikes shirt and held himself against him.

            "I know." Spike unsurely wrapped his arms back around the boy. "She's sleeping now."  He sat holding his son slowly the uneasiness draining out of him. He moved onto the bed and sat against the wall at the head. Landis curled against him and soon was sound asleep in his arms. Spike thought of just sleeping like this but the back and neck ache he would have in the morning decided that it wasn't such a good idea. He waited a bit longer then carefully repositioned the boy in the bed and slipped from the room.

            Throwing off his shirt he rubbed at a sore spot on the back of his neck. He yawed as he slipped into bed his eyes sliding closed immediately.

            He could feel her next to him; soft breaths slowly sliding in and out of her slightly opened mouth. It was so vivid in his mind. He sighed.

            He heard a mirroring sigh. "Don't tell me it's tiring you down already."

_If I smile_

_And don't believe_

            He kept his eyes closed not wanting to see the empty dark that accompanied her sweet voice.

_Soon I know_

_I'll wake from this dream_

            Her thin fingers drew a cool line along the fresh scar on his chest. It was the second of two such scars.

_Don't try to fix me_

_I'm not broken_

            _Two women, two scars_ Spike thought a frown setting itself on his face.

_Hello_

_I'm the lie_

_Living for you _

_So you can hide_

            Two pasts that would always haunt him. Never let him go. When he finally got rid of the first the second one hit. They would never stop hurting him and he didn't want them to.

_Don't Cry_

            The feel of her hand against his skin was torture.

            "Stop it." He whispered. This wasn't fair why couldn't his mind just leave him alone.

            He sighed and reached to brush it away but a soft hand stopped him and moved his hand to his own chest.

            "Go to sleep." She told him.

            "I am asleep."

            She ran her fingers through his hair; "I know." She said kissing him softly. He felt the darkness tugging at his mind.

            "Just a dream." He muttered as he rolled over to his side away from the tempting presence.

            He had almost overcome the dream when her hand found his shoulder and tugged gently at it.

            This was too much, he really had gone crazy this time.

            "Leave me the hell alone."

            "But you're so damn sexy when you're all angsty." She continued to rub her hand on his shoulder. _Imaginary hand_, he reminded himself.

            Too many nights had he lay on the couch dreaming like this too many nights where he woke up knowing the truth. It had to stop.

            "I said stop it."

            The hand stopped and drew away a small pain struck Spike.

            "Well fine if you're gonna be a damn ass about it." The presence moved. "Freaking asshole."

            She seemed so real now; now that she was closer to normal. 

            "Faye." He asked the air. He moved to his back looking at the ceiling through his eyelids. The bed shifted.

            "Just look at me." The voice asked.

            Hoping to end this nightmare Spike allowed his eyes to open.

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping_

_Hello_

_I'm still here_

_All that's left of yesterday_

**Is it the dream…**

**END**

            Hey hey Tiffo here well there you have it the end. Now if you are confused on some things then well. GOOD my job here is done. I'm sorry I'm an author and I mean that in the purest sense of the word. I create with words. And I believe that stories shouldn't end, life never does. And I don't believe it should all be explained and slapped out in your face, again life isn't. And what I always strive to achieve is a sense of realism so it goes the way it goes. Now I know you all want to know what really happened. But truth fully I don't know. Read and come to your own conclusions. See what the text tells you.

**Reviews:**

I'm sorry that so many of you were mad. But actually I'm not if that makes sense. Knowing that my story had touched you on an emotional level. Knowing that you felt something because of what I wrote is the most amazing thing and most wonderful thing that I could have hoped for. So again I am sorry if you found things went ways you disliked. But I don't control it I write what comes to me and what feels right. And that was what I felt as much as I hated it.

**Mate Of Veggie**= I am very sorry if I did not give you the closure you wanted.

**Sexy Vixen= **Thank you for the multiple beatings.

**Catwomanmeow7151 (kittykat7151@earthlink.com)=** I'm sorry but I can't answer that.

**Gitarstrngs****= Thank you. I try.**

**Nova= I'm glad you read so much into my story I like to think that I can find a realistic picture for people and its nice when someone complements me on the job.**

**RuRsHeR= Thanx like I said before I strive to give you the best I can. And also that is very nice with you noticing that but as I said to **Catwomanmeow7151** I can't say anything about that the decision is up to you.**

**{Tinel**

**eve**** rednellac =** I am so glad that you cried. And I'm sorry that that makes me seem twisted****

** PunkJunky} **

**pimpin satan =** I hope that Prozac worked out for you. And thank you.

Thank you to everybody that has and may review. They mean a lot to me.

PS. For basic info I have started another CB fic its kinda a song fic and it's a bit different but then again I guess not.

Tiffo signing off. Byers

Tiffo the Chicken Flea.

1 night 8 years

Completed: June 23, 2003 4:12 AM


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